Hyundai Azera “Talk to My Car” Oscar Commercial

This commercial was apparently made to celebrate the cinema and specifically dedicated to and created for the Oscars. That’s cool, and also a great idea. They show fictionalized scenes from movies involving cars, and from a children’s perspective (that’s how I’m reading it, anyway, as there is a young boy sitting in the back seat), all to play up the connection of voice-command-activated cars to cinema. I’m surprised there wasn’t a Batmobile reference in there, or a Cars reference, but it was probably prohibitively expensive. (I’m pretty sure it was on the ad creatives’ list for the clearance department, though! But then again, I guess with the kid’s mask, they’re combining Speed Racer with Batman right there.) But this selling point of having voice-recognition capabilities, and perhaps even a Siri-like entity to interact with, is wonderfully realized through the eyes and imagination of a child, shown with highly mannerized visuals that appear childlike to adults, in this Hyundai spot shown last night during the Oscars.

I was aware of every movie reference they made (I believe), and I was really excited to see this commercial. This may sound silly to people who find ads annoying, but seeing this brought me back to my childhood momentarily, and back to the experience of seeing each of these movies referenced, and back to that sense of wonderment and excitement about the idea of having talking cars and artificial intelligence that was so novel when I was a little kid in the 70s. It’s hard, I think, for someone without my life experience of being a Star Wars fan, loving Sci Fi stuff, etc., back when there were no computers in homes yet, to really, truly relate to the feelings this commercial brought back to me of back when this idea of having a car you could talk to was just a fantasy. Back then, the future predictions were about cars that would drive themselves, and flying cars, etc., but the idea of spoken commands was still just the stuff of movie fantasy. But here it is, and we still have no flying cars! I’m amazed an disappointed at the same time!

But the amazement is mostly with this ad! I used to work with voice-recognition software when I was an IT guy in the 1990s. I thought it would be available long before now. Siri seems new to some people, but I was surprised it took so long, frankly, as we were working with this kind of stuff long ago. There were programs of artificial intelligence you could have conversations with through typing in the early 1980s, even. But in the 1970s, this stuff was still just the stuff of nerdy dreams! And when I was that kid’s age (the one in this ad), I wasn’t even thinking about computer controls on cars, because I was more thinking about the other, more visual stuff we see in this ad (morphing cars that fly, go underwater, etc.). But it still takes me back there, because of the great imaginative visuals, so whoever conceived of this spot did a very good job! (Even if owning this car would be nothing like this ad's first three-quarters: you know, the cool part.)

Here’s the cool cinema-inspired car conversation commercial:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bq-OBmIWbeQ

Cadillac Green Hell Super Bowl Ad

Okay, this ad is fine for a car ad, but I’ve got a problem with it anyway. It has more to do with the music, though. You see, this ad is called “Green Hell”, and they don’t use the song “Green Hell” by The Misfits. What the hell? It’s a really rocking hardcore/metal song, and it’s great for this type of scenario! And if they don’t like The Misfits, then Metallica does a great cover version of it! (Is Metallica big and mainstream enough for them at Cadillac? And The Misfits will still see some money from its use!)

So come on, guys: get with the program! When you have an ad called “Green Hell”, use the song called “Green Hell” in the ad, at least to end on! It could just have, towards the end of the spot, Glenn Danzig screaming: “Touch it, see it: Green Hell!” (The announcer talks about checking out “Green Hell” in Germany, so it would work very well.) And then they could switch to the Metallica version for a more recognizable chunky sound to ride out the end of the spot if they wanted. Or else, they could have simply used the ending of the Metallica version, where James Hetfield yells: “Green Hell!” It would have been perfect! And by not doing it, they are alienating all the Misfits and Metallica fans who know about it, and guess what? They are all the right age to be in the market to buy a Cadillac, so they shot themselves in the foot by not using it. And it would have blown away the music they do use in the spot. Oh, well… (Seriously, what the green hell were they thinking here?)

Here is your spot in Green Hell:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yiah1fJ1MwM

Here is The Misfits’ “Green Hell”:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-T_HHcrj4o

And here is Metallica’s version, but it’s the second song in a two song mash-up (Green Hell begins at 1:29):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=byAwUZOtkAI

Sprint Unlimited Data Limit Ad

This commercial is really fun for me to watch as a complete outsider. I don’t ever go over my data limit, because I use my phone as a phone, and nothing else. I don’t walk around cities glued to my smartphone screen, and I don’t walk into traffic following directions, because I generally look up where I’m going in advance, so I know where I’m going. I don’t have my whole life on my phone, so I can actually smell the roses if I want. (Although there are not many roses in the city, unless they’re in florist shops.) And I can pay attention to the people I’m with, even if they can’t return the favor anymore (because they're glued to their smartphones). But when that grid goes down someday, and it probably will at some point, at least I won't be going through withdrawals and wandering around aimlessly because I depended on my phone to tell me where to go all the time.

Anyway, here’s the unlimited ad:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TW9NnaB0Rfs

Salt Shaker Chef’s Hat

On last night’s episode of The Daily Show, Jon Stewart wore a chef’s hat for a segment about the Pope’s Twitter account name. Well, when he doffed this hat, I could clearly see that there were six holes on the top of it, organized like the holes on the top of a salt shaker. And seeing as how the cylindrical shape, with the ridges around the sides, and the white color, when added to the six holes on the top of it, made it look like a giant salt shaker, that made me wonder: Is this how chefs in New York City have to smuggle in their salt these days, in light of Mayor Bloomberg’s salt assault laws? I hope Mr. Stewart didn't just accidentally reveal their method of contraband smuggling! (The sentencing for salt smuggling is probably worse than it is for cocaine nowadays, what with the food police out in force like it is lately!)

Here’s the salty story, if you’re not aware of it:

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/01/11/business/11salt.html

Anti-Aspirant

Rick Santorum called President Obama a “snob” for assuming everyone has the “aspiration” to go to college. And if everyone does have that aspiration, then Rick Santorum would look like a dummy for saying that. So what he needs is a product to make sure everyone does not have that aspiration. Sort of like an “anti-aspirant”: it’s like an antiperspirant, but it prevents aspiration. Do you suppose it could be called: “Unsure”? There’s a brand of antiperspirant called: “Sure”, so why not have an anti-aspirant called: “Unsure”? (As in, unsure you want to do anything with your life.)

Plus, an anti-aspirant might be good for Santorum in another way. If you look up the definition of “Santorum” on Google, and then you recognize that “aspirant” sounds like a compound word from the words: “ass” and “perspiration”, you’ll see that an “anti-aspirant” might help reduce the instance of santorum for people who wish to lessen its occurrence. And there’s just nobody who would like to reduce its occurrence, or even its existence, more than Rick Santorum.

Here’s the story about Rick’s comments:

http://thechoice.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/02/27/rick-santorum-calls-obama-a-snob-for-encouraging-higher-education/

(Who’s Afraid of) Virginia Woolf Brand Liquor

I just saw Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf for the first time tonight. I had been avoiding it for years, because I had seen too many crappy Liz & Dick movies, and I thought this must be another one of them. Well, it’s not. It’s really good, especially if you like domestic violence, marital blisslessness, and alcoholism. In fact, there was so much drinking and drunkenness, I think it’s almost indecent that nobody has ever launched a brand of Virginia Woolf brand liquors, in honor of this movie. They could have Virginia Woolf Brandy: It makes you throw up, but then you’ll want to dance all night! And then they could have Virginia Woolf Bourgen (that’s this movie’s inside joke about bourbon): It makes you kill your parents “by accident”, and then you go to the mental hospital for life. Now that’s some good liquor!

Or perhaps this is too insulting to Virginia Woolf? Then how about calling it instead: “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf Liquor?” Then the name would be like a dare to macho-types, and they’d all over-drink and act like the characters in this movie, which would be very appropriate, seeing as how it’s named for the film! And if anyone didn’t want to drink it, everyone could say they were “afraid of Virginia Woolf!” And then they’d have to relent and drink themselves into a stupor or else be thought of as a wimp forever after.

And for a feminist liquor, someone could make: “Yellow Wallpaper Absinthe”. And the ad could be that it’s so strong, when you drink it, you’ll start to believe people are trying to break out of the wallpaper all around you, even if there isn’t any wallpaper where you are! (Now that’s a strong drink!) And as a feminist liquor, it’s perfectly named, because then macho-types could accuse each other of being “yellow” if they don’t want to drink it! And then they’d all drink too much of it and throw up and get hangovers due to peer pressure, and the feminists finally get their revenge against the macho guys who have held them back for so long! I’m surprised nobody has thought of this sooner. (They could also say it will launch you through the glass ceiling when you drink it, to attract female drinkers.)

In the Face of Great Adversity

I have heard people say for years, and I heard it during the Oscars last night, that people triumph “in the face of great adversity”. So for all those triumphant stories, and the people who lived them, I’d just like to say: “In your face, Great Adversity!”