Volkswagen Golf GTI World Cup "Ole" Ad

VW has made some ads for the 2014 World Cup, and one of these ads shows a bunch of different groups of people all dressed- and made-up in their countries' colors, with team jerseys, face paint and wigs, etc., and they each get into a VW Golf and drive, celebrating, to the game.

Well, seeing as how VW is a German car company, I thought a more fun ad would be for us to see a group from some country dress all up like they do here, but only show one group, and then they drive to the game, celebrating all the way; and then we see that their team loses to Germany, and so they all go out into the parking lot, and they (as well as other countrymen in the parking lot) attack and smash and trash the VW (because it's a German car, and their team lost to Germany).

And VW could make a version of this ad for every team Germany plays, and run the ad right before and after each specific game, rubbing in the loss. Oh, but I guess that might not help to sell VWs, huh? (But at least they could enjoy all the schadenfreude to go with their fahrvergnugen*.)

But I do like this VW "Ole" ad a lot.

Here's the new Volkswagen Golf GTI World Cup "Ole" ad I'm referring to here:

http://www.ispot.tv/ad/7D8C/volkswagen-golf-gti-ole

* Here's the old VW "Fahrvergnugen" ad from 1990:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eOnne-90CLI

(BTW: Germany tied with Ghana in their second game, so this already wouldn't work. {Although now they've made it to the final, so this might really work after all: we'll see.*})

* BTW: Germany did end up winning the World Cup in Brazil (thanks to the VW Golf GTI).

LensCrafters World Cup Referees Ad (Proposed)

The beginning of the 2014 World Cup was certainly marred by bad officiating, so much so that it was the big story everyone was talking about after the first couple of days. I think this situation would make for a funny commercial for an eyeglasses company like LensCrafters.

And so, in this proposed TV spot for LensCrafters, we see a bunch of clips of soccer games where the ref makes what is obviously the wrong call, and then we hear the crowd boo and hiss and whistle (like they do), and then the announcer says: "Need glasses? At LensCrafters, we make glasses quickly and inexpensively, and in a large variety of styles, so you can see the world more accurately."

Or would this ad concept work better for a contact lens company? I'll bet referees wouldn't like anyone to know their vision was bad to begin with (although we all can tell anyway).

Let's Move Fozzie Bear Ad (Proposed)

You know, walking is very good exercise. If everyone did enough, we might be able to claim victory in the battle of the bulge. But what's an effective and memorable manner in which to communicate this idea? Well, how about this:

Fozzie Bear speaks to the camera at a comedy club, saying: "What's an effective way to stay fit? Walka Walka!" and then he walks back and forth to demonstrate. (His catchphrase is: "Wocka Wocka.") Then we could hear the Surgeon General recommend walking a certain distance per day or week to maintain fitness.

(Yes, it's silly; but it's also memorable.)

Godzilla Nuclear Political Ad

To help win over support for the nuclear energy industry, why not have Godzilla be the spokesman? Godzilla could say: "Nuclear made me the monster I am today. You saw that recent movie of mine, right? Well, I saved you all from those nasty monsters, didn't I? And in fact, I've saved Earth and humanity lots and lots of times in a bunch of movies. And that first movie, where Tokyo is destroyed; that wasn't me. Remember how that Godzilla was destroyed at the end of the movie? That proves right there it wasn't me. It was my drunk uncle Godzilla: he was always mad at everyone and always wanted to destroy everything. But ever since then I've tried to help. And nuclear energy gives me what I need to continue to protect Earth against mean giant monsters and hostile aliens. Plus, remember how I protected you against the Smog Monster before? That's because of all the dirty energy you use. Well next time I might just let the Smog Monster get you if you don't support nuclear."

Surely then everyone would support nuclear energy.

Coalio: Pro-Coal Political Ad Hip Hop Artist?

If the coal industry wants to win the American public over about coal use, maybe they could make political ads with a manufactured hip hop star named "Coalio", and he could rap all about the benefits of coal use. That would surely win over everyone to supporting coal, right? (No?) Well, it could, at least until people found out that he was a white rapper like Macklemore or Vanilla Ice, but all the coal dust makes him look black. Wow, then there would be a big blackface scandal, taking up a lion's share of news screen time, and another Republican Party tactic would bite the dust (after biting itself in the ass). And then coal would have another strike against it: it can be used for blackface. (Oh, the shame of it!)

Actually, coal makes miners look like they are wearing blackface whether they like it or not or even know it or not due to how dirty it is. (And it gives people black lung, too.) And these days people get a lot more worked up about things like blackface than they do about health problems or the environment, so maybe that ought to be the new reasoning and justification for trying to phase out or outright ban coal: it makes coal miners look offensive and stuff. (Political ads could claim coal is racist for giving coal miners blackface, and we must stamp out this overt racist behavior by coal, which clearly is only doing it to offend everyone.)

Obama Air

President Obama has proposed new regulations on carbon emissions, rankling many Republicans, and even some Democrats, who oppose these new rules. (First Obama makes the school lunch food flavorless, and now the air too? The nerve! I, like his critics, prefer air you can cut with a knife: it has character, unlike this posh crap he wants, that you can't even see properly. {<Sarcasm.})

But if his opponents want to stymie these new regulations, they should call the plan: "Obama Air"; after all, calling the Affordable Care Act "Obamacare" worked to derail that legislation, right?

Exceptional Core

Lots of people complain about Common Core, and for lots of different reasons. But they all miss the point. The problem with Common Core is that it’s, well, common. And how can we produce exceptional students with a common core of material? What we need is an exceptional core of classes, and then we’ll be on top again!

Call Congress and demand Exceptional Core!

(After all, everything the government does seems to be based more on semantics and PR than actual good policy, so this will be right up their alley! They can just change the name from Common Core to Exceptional Core and declare victory.)

Here’s a news story about complaints regarding Common Core:

http://theweek.com/article/index/262285/the-common-core-backlash#axzz33aWIEN71