Chick-fil-A Joke Ads

We see people being attacked by gangs of angry chickens viciously pecking them, and then we see two cows walk into frame wearing sign boards that read: “We tryd 2 warn u 2 eet mor chikin” on one, and: “But u didnt lissin!” on the other.

We see people waiting in line at a burger joint when a bunch of cows stampede through and crush everyone to death. Then two cows walk into frame with sign boards on them reading: “We tryed 2 warn u 2 eet mor chikin” on one, and: “But u didnt lissin!” on the other.

Frosted Cursed Evil Charms Cereal

With marshmallow ceremonial daggers, goblets, magick circles, amulets, talismans, grimoires, and demons, Frosted Cursed Evil Charms Cereal has your recommended daily allowance of evil sendings! They're black-magickally delicious!

Ricola Cough Drops Joke Print Ad Slogan

Coughy Mate

Nike-Alabama "Gotta Be The Shoes" Joke Ad

In the 1980s, Nike ran a series of famous television commercials where movie director Spike Lee would try to figure out, in a Thomas Dolby "She Blinded Me With Science" kind of way, how Michael Jordan is able to perform the physical acts that he does on the basketball court, concluding that it has got to be the shoes, because Michael Jordan is just a regular human being just like everyone else, right? This amazingly fun and wickedly clever ad campaign is one of the key components in Nike becoming the fabulously wealthy and productive company that they've become, and it's especially funny because the ad campaign essentially just comes right out and tells you, in a read-between-the-lines kind of way in one spot, and just spelling it out in another, that of course it's not the shoes, but it's Michael Jordan, obviously, himself, who is responsible for his amazing capabilities through natural, raw talent, drive, and good old-fashioned hard work. But it was fun to think it may have been the shoes, and that sentiment, in addition to an awful lot of (actually deserved for a change) hero-worship, helped Nike climb to the top of the athletic shoe/apparel heap.

But during the BCS Championship of College Football the commentator said that Alabama had missed more points from kicks than any other team in college football, or in their division anyway, and that's something that's been dogging Alabama for a long time. It has even denied them national titles game appearances within the past decade. So I think maybe in an effort to get Alabama to prioritize recruiting good kickers, it might make sense to run a television ad campaign where we have Nick Saban this time in a scientist lab coat saying that it's gotta be the shoes that are making them miss so many points kicks. And we see with every missed kick it dawns on him that there is nothing else wrong, and so it has got to be the shoes that are making the Alabama kicker miss all those kicks. Because you know that Nike has a contract with the NCAA to be the official sportswear and shoes, and so if it's gotta be the shoes that are to blame, then yes, sorry, ironically it is actually the Nike shoes which are responsible for all the lost points, and not Nick Saban's responsibility to recruit the best kickers.

Ready Player One

Wow, what a giant, loud and busy, colorful noise fest this movie is! When it comes on TV, it can be sponsored by some brand of abusable cough syrup. There are so many pop culture references especially to movies and video games that it seemed like the new kind of product placement. After all, media conglomerates are grabbing up more and more slices of the pie of movie, music and video game content, so the more references there are to other movies and songs and video games they own there are, the more likely they will spur viewers to go and buy or stream that stuff after watching this thing, and so on. So instead of characters in a movie drinking a coke, they're listening to some song the movie company owns, or playing some video game they own, or they've got a movie poster, or some action figure from a movie or comic book the company owns, and on and on and on, and $$$ more for the conglomerate. Pretty soon underground movies will have to try to see how many things they can try to leave out of their movies to deny big conglomerates free advertising that generates more revenue for them to go acquire more and bigger pieces of the media content pie. (Mmm, I'll bet that's good pie! Can you have it and eat it too? I think this movie proves that if you own enough stuff, you can cram it all into a self-referential geek fest and essentially have it and eat it and even bake and sell more and more pies and cakes of it too on and on forever until you give everyone Type 2 Diabetes.)

NORAD Tracking Santa

I see on the news that NORAD is tracking Santa Claus this Christmas Eve. During a government shutdown NORAD still gets funding for tracking Santa Claus, when other agencies do not get funded? Well, this really shows where our government's priorities lie: spying. They're tracking Santa Claus's activities, probably covertly via satellite. Do they have a warrant for this surveillance activity? They probably already know what Santa is bringing them for Christmas too, those cheaters. I want a congressional investigation!

Rudolph’s Rhinoplasty

In this (joke) ad for a (fictitious) plastic surgery office, we hear the part of the well-known song: “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” that goes:

Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer had a very shiny nose

And if you ever saw it you would even say it glows

All of the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names

They never let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games

Then the song continues with the altered lyrics:

Then Rudolph got a reprieve through plastic surgery

Rudolph’s nose now looks so good that he moved to Hollywood

Now all the reindeers love him and he stars in big movies

Rudolph the nose-job reindeer got Rudolph’s Rhinoplasty!

Then the announcer chimes in, saying: “Yes, Rudolph got his nose fixed, and you can too, at Rudolph’s Rhinoplasty!”