Mr. Pibb was always jealous of Dr. Pepper. Dr. Pepper always
got all the hot ladies because he was a doctor, and poor old Mr. Pibb had to
spend all his time alone watching TV and eating cold pizza, the poor guy. I
think he even changed his name to something silly and mid-life-crisis-y
sounding like Pibb Xtra, aiming for some razzmatazz. Oh, but maybe there’s a guerilla marketing campaign
that could be started in a television ad campaign with a snappy slogan that
could lead to people seeing a downside to drinking Dr. Pepper? And then surely
everyone would race out and buy all the Mr. Pibb they could drink, right? Hmm; now, let me see… How might this be accomplished?
Oh, hey: I know! How about using a play on Dr. Pepper
advertising slogans like: “Be a Pepper”, and: “I’m a Pepper”? Like, for instance, an attack
ad with the slogan: “A Salt a Pepper!” (Phonetically it would be: “Assault a
Pepper”.) Then the ad could show tough-guy hoodlums drinking a Mr. Pibb and
then attacking and beating up people who are drinking Dr. Pepper. It would
probably spread like wildfire on YouTube videos of people doing this meme, like
with so-called “Fight Club” style fighting videos and “C*nt Punting” type videos that kids do. And once that
starts, nobody will want to be caught drinking Dr. Pepper! (And they could sell or give away t-shirts and hats that say: “A Salt a Pepper!” on them.)
Oh, but then Dr. Pepper could make ads saying that if you
get hurt, you’ll be okay because Dr. Pepper is a doctor, and it can treat your
injuries like a cure-all tonic. And then everyone would rush out and buy all
the Dr. Pepper they could carry in lieu of healthcare coverage now that the
“Affordable Care Act” has made insurance rates skyrocket through the
stratosphere to where they are literally unaffordable!
(Dr. Pepper will be the only
doctor I’ll be able to afford to
see pretty soon if the rates keep going up like they have been lately!)
(Now of course this is all just a silly joke. {Except for
the part about the health insurance rates becoming unaffordably high: sadly that’s
true!} Please do not
“A Salt a Pepper”.)
