Yes, it’s Professor Propofol, the super villain! He puts
everyone to sleep, and then he perpetrates horrible crimes. Is there no-one who
can stop this sinister sandman?
His secret origin is that he was a college professor who
taught computer science, but he was so boring of a lecturer, he put all his
students to sleep regardless of how hard they tried to stay awake, and pretty
soon all the students were jokingly referring to him as: “Professor Propofol”
(named after the powerful anesthetic that killed Michael Jackson). Well,
noticing this, he realized he possessed a formidable super power: the ability
to force people to go to sleep against their will, and he developed it into a super
science, appropriating the demeaning moniker as his own to punish an
unappreciative society. So now he uses his abilities to put his victims to
sleep and initiate a nightmare of crime throughout the city!
Can nobody stand up to this vicious villain without falling
down sound asleep? Could it be the vivacious Captain Caffeine? Nah, he’s not
powerful enough! Oh, but how about Methamphetaman? His secret origin is that he
was cooking meth when a nearby nuclear power plant leak fused him with his glowing,
irradiated meth crystals! And now he can stay awake forever, not even being
able to sleep when he wants to! So, as the natural nemesis to Professor
Propofol, can Methamphetaman save the day? Well, you might think so, but
generally speaking he’s too busy taking things apart and never putting them
back together to even think of fighting crime (besides technically being a
criminal himself, even if he can’t exactly help it at this point). Plus
whenever he wants to put his powers to good use, he usually can never seem to
leave his home, because he notices he forgot his keys, and then he gets distracted
for another few hours, and then by the time he’s about to go out the door
again, he gets a phone call and forgets again, and then after another hour or
so, he has to use the bathroom, etc., and he just never seems to ever get out
that door. But he would do it, if he weren’t so busy being high and distracted;
you simply must believe that!
So can anyone stop this savage sandman scoundrel? Find out
in the exciting series: Professor Propofol’s
Pernicious Plans, coming soon to a newsstand near you! (Okay, maybe it’s
not…)
