Drano The Plunger Games Ad (Proposed)

In this proposed ad for Drano, a game show called “The Plunger Games” has a number of contestants (let’s say four) all racing to unclog a toilet. Three of them use plungers of differing types (one is the red rubber one we all know from cartoons, another is the black type with the extra fold-out section for unclogging toilets, and the third is the space-age-looking plastic one with the collapsible accordion part for extra pumping power), while the fourth contestant uses Drano. Well, the first three get all hot, sweaty and tired, as well as lots of water splashed on them from vigorously pumping the plungers, while the fourth contestant simply pours the Drano in the toilet and it unclogs the toilet. So the fourth contestant wins the contest, but is disqualified from the show because she “cheated”, using a method deemed to be “far too easy”. The audience boos and throws stuff at the game show host, and they rush the stage to carry the Drano-using contestant out on their shoulders in triumph. (But incorrectly sensing the audience’s rush as hostile, the contestant throws the remaining Drano at their faces, and they scream in agony, which serves as a warning to keep Drano away from unprotected skin and eyes. Just kidding. But it is dangerous stuff, so maybe they should do something like this in their ads for the sake of consumer/product safety.)

Sex Predator Drones

They’re coming… Look out: It’s Sex Predator Drones!

The terrorists think they’ve got it bad now, but wait until they’re tracked and attacked by Sex Predator Drones! Not only will they be traumatized, but their friends will never let them live it down, either!

Sex Predator Drones have video cameras to film the sexual encounters they have with terrorists, and then the video is uploaded to terrorist websites to show the hot sexy terrorist sexbot action!

They’re like the Robot Chicken humping robot with wings: It’s Sex Predator Drones! Terrorists had better keep their ass covered, or Sex Predator Drones will find and penetrate their positions!

Sex Predator Drones: Sticking it to terrorists for America!

Pepto Bismol Bayern Munich Pep Guardiola Champions League (Joke) Ad

We see Bayern Munich fans watching Real Madrid annihilate their team at home at the Allianz arena, and one fan says to the other (raising his voice to be heard over the screaming crowd): “Pep’s abysmal! I feel sick to my stomach!” And his friend says (also raising his voice to be heard over the crowd): “What? You need Pepto Bismol?” And the sick guy says: “What? Oh, yeah, maybe that would help.” Then the announcer says: “When you feel sick to your stomach, take Pepto Bismol! It’s the winning strategy!” Then we see the fans at home, and the sick guy takes some Pepto Bismol and says: “Wow, well my stomach feels better, but losing the game still hurts!”

Tucks Medicated Pads Metallica Ad?

Metallica wanted to call their first album: “Metal Up Your Ass”, but they weren’t allowed to, so they called it: “Kill ‘Em All”. But they sold t-shirts of the “Metal Up Your Ass” album cover, and it is very well known amongst thrash metal fans to this day.

So, thinking of this in terms of product advertising, we could see someone looking at this Metallica “Metal Up Your Ass” t-shirt, and they shudder and say to someone they’re with: “Ouch! That looks like it hurts!” And then the announcer says: “If you feel pain like metal up your ass, try Tucks Medicated Pads! The cooling action helps relieve pain fast!”

Here’s Metallica’s “Metal Up Your Ass” t-shirt design.

Great Expectorations: Joke/Proposed Mucinex Ad

Mucinex is a medication that helps break up and remove chest congestion. We’ve seen gross ads for it about cartoon character phlegm living in someone’s lungs and then getting expelled due to Mucinex. It’s pretty gross, but seeing as how it’s already an ad campaign, how about classing it up a bit (to the extent that it can be classed up) by making the characters a bit more literary? So I give you a classic literary Mucinex advert: Great Expectorations.

Pip Phlegm is a young man of insubstantial means with nary a hope of getting out of the one-horse town where he lives, apprenticing for a blacksmith inside someone’s lungs. (The pollution from the forge is what makes the person have a cough, I suppose.) But in his own private time, Pip Phlegm dreams of getting out of the lungs where he lives and seeing the world someday. Oh, but one fine day, our young hero Pip gets a visit from a very distinguished phlegmatic character, a lawyer, who tells Pip he has a benefactor who will help him get out of this lung and see the world, and that Pip is a young Phlegm of Great Expectorations. Well, it turns out that Mucinex is Pip’s secret benefactor, and in no time flat, the expectorant in Mucinex causes Pip to leave the forge in the small lung he’s called home, and finally venture forth toward his destiny and Great Expectorations, just as he always dreamed of doing! And when you have phlegm personages you wish to liberate from your lungs, get them a benefactor to get them out and off into Great Expectorations, with Mucinex, the bronchial and breathing benefactor!

Here is an example of the Mucinex phlegm ads (They are clever, but also gross!):

http://www.ispot.tv/ad/75Z0/mucinex-bringing-home-mucus

Mucinex Robitussin D (Joke) Attack Ad

Robitussin D is the most recognizable cough syrup brand, so how can a competitor break into the market and suppress Robitussin enough to usurp its cough syrup crown? Well, another company could make a superior, more effective product, but that takes time and effort. I was thinking of an easier way: smear Robitussin D with a campaign of attack ads!

So, how to accomplish an attack ad against Robitussin D? Well, they certainly make it easier by leaving that ‘D’ there for us to make fun of! Here’s a suggestion: make the ‘D’ into “D-bag”: short for “douchebag”.

So here’s how this might work:

Some guy with a bad cough is making everyone’s life miserable in an apartment building. He coughs all night, and it keeps all of his neighbors awake. We see that he’s taking Robitussin D for his cough, but it’s not working well enough (in the ad, anyway), so he keeps coughing up a storm and driving everyone crazy. Then the announcer says: “Have an awful cough? Don’t be a Robitussin D-bag! Use Mucinex, and stop the cough, so you and your neighbors can get some peace and quiet, and some sleep!”

(Of course this is just a joke. But there are product attack ads out there, so this really isn’t so far-fetched of an idea, as silly as it is.)

Lactaid Talking Cow Mascot Ad

(This is the Lactaid spot called: “Real Milk”)

The (animated, cartoon) cow mascot on the carton of Lactaid tells the woman that Lactaid is real milk, but it doesn’t have lactose to give her discomfort. Then she says it tastes just like real milk, adding: “Come on; would I lie about this?”

But you know, how do we know this isn’t just regular milk in the carton if it tastes like regular milk? Maybe the cow would lie about this to sucker lactose intolerant people like this woman into drinking real milk because as a cow, she’s insulted that some people are allergic to milk, and she wants revenge for the smear to milk’s reputation that lactose intolerance causes. I mean, cows go to all this trouble to make milk, and some people say it makes them sick: what an insult! If you were a (cartoon) cow, wouldn’t you be irate at such a suggestion?

But then again, if you were a cartoon cow, you wouldn’t be able to make milk anyway. But maybe this cartoon cow is doubly upset because she wants to make milk, but she can’t produce milk, and there she is having to convince people who think milk makes them sick. I mean, her wildest dream is being able to produce milk naturally herself, and here are people slandering her fantasy liquid: the nerve! I’d think she’d be feeling pretty intolerant of lactose intolerance, and she’d want to create some catastrophic colic chaos!

So Lactaid; what is it: real milk or bull cocky?

Here’s the mutated moo juice marketing:

http://www.ispot.tv/ad/7g5a/lactaid-real-milk