A satirical blog about media, marketing, advertising, politics, pop culture, etc. All references to actual companies, products, people, etc. is for the purpose of parody. All writing is copyright by Greg Medernach, and is mostly intended as absurdist humor, and as a portfolio of comedy and creative advertising material. Questions and Comments: email@example.com
In the children’s book and movie A Monster Calls, the titular monster is a Yew Tree in a human shape. And I would propose an ad for Miracle Gro that suggests that to grow such a monster, use Miracle Gro. Or, more precisely, we could see the mother of the sick kid in the story using Miracle Gro on a Yew Tree, and it becomes the monster that befriends her son. And the announcer could say: “For miracles like this, use Miracle Gro.”
(BTW: This is another riff on my spec Miracle Gro Guardians of the Galaxy Groot ad from 2014.)
Here is my Miracle Gro Guardians of the Galaxy Groot ad from 2014:
I hear Disney is now suing people who are doing Star-Warsian things like Light Saber schools, leading some to call light sabers glow swords. So here's a list of possible light saber knock off names to avoid Disney and also possible litigation from the glow swords people:
You're all welcome to use these without fear of a lawsuit, at least from me anyway.
(When will people like Disney's legal department understand that things like light saber academies are just so much more free advertising and promotion for their movies? If it weren't Star Wars, there might be some actual cultural backlash to this kind of thing.)
It’s about time someone did something like this, with a tough pickup truck and Vikings. I wish I had thought of it. I should have thought of it, frankly. I do have a similar one for a pickup truck from like 8 years ago though where we see the pickup truck towing the massive stone blocks for the Egyptian Pyramids, and historians saying they always wondered how it was done until they found an undiscovered tomb with hieroglyphics showing how it was accomplished. (It's similar in that there's a pickup truck being used in an anachronistic historical setting to tow something big.) And coincidentally, my ad was also for Dodge Ram pickup trucks.
This Dodge Ram ad is a lot of fun. I especially like the fun part of having the Vikings singing a version of the classic kids’ song: “The Wheels on the Bus”.
This campaign include the “Mountain Bike” and “Snowboard”
spots, where we see a subjective camera shot of someone going somewhere either
through a mountain bike’s handlebars, or with a snowboard visible at the bottom
of the frame, so it looks like we’re riding one of these things, and then,
after a cut, we see the Volkswagen Golf Alltrack with the bike or the snowboard
on the roof rack, and it’s clear we’ve been riding in the VW instead. It’s fun
to have this sleight of hand with regard to our expectations visually, along
with the suggestion that it’s as much fun to drive the VW as it is to ride what
it’s carrying on top.
VW should make follow-up ads where we see the bike
handlebars or the snowboard when the rider is stuck in rush hour gridlock and
see how much fun it seems then. (Just kidding.)
This spot shows a couple going to the great outdoors as we
he a song sing about how happy everything is, and then they see an eagle swoop
out of the sky and brutally murder an innocent salmon, showing them the truly harsh,
dog-eat-dog nature of nature. And then the announcer says the Volkswagen Golf
Alltrack is soon to be everywhere. And the animals say: “Soon to be everywhere?
Volkswagen? That’s the car company that cheated on emissions standards! Get
‘em!” And all the animals team up to attack the couple for driving a Volkswagen
for the company’s pollution scandal, and bears and wolves emerge from the
forest, eagles and hawks swoop down from the skies, and the fish all dump out
of the water to kill the couple in revenge for them buying a Volkswagen, and
then the animals all push the car into the water so nobody can ever drive it
Just kidding: that last part doesn’t happen in the ad; but
apparently it always happens to everyone who drives a Volkswagen into
the forest in real life. Or so I hear from other car companies…
I like this fun and silly Kia ad that looks like on old
8-bit home video game from the 1980s. It does make it seem like maybe the Kia
is using the same dated technology using this old-looking video game picture in
the ad, though.
I think it’s actually cheating to use an SUV on the field,
even if it is a Kia. But seeing as how Bo Jackson had a career-ending hip
injury playing football in 1991, driving the Kia onto the field is likely the
only way he could score in an NFL game nowadays. And no matter the safety
features on the Kia, is has to be safer driving one of them on the field than
actually playing against pro football players.
And come to think of it, the video game picture in this ad
probably looks like this because that’s what football video games looked like
back when Bo Jackson last played NFL Football.
I love this silly spot showing a woman doing an interpretive
dance about what it feels like to do her taxes. It’s definitely one of the more fun tax preparation ads I have seen.
I can’t help but wonder if it was influenced by the fun New Yorker cartoon by Bob Mankoff. Not
trying to take anything away from it, I’m just curious if the creatives that
came up with this spot are familiar with his cartoon from like 1990 or
somewhere around then.
I keep seeing this ad online for Head & Shoulders dandruff shampoo that says: “Shoulders are for greatness, not dandruff.”
But is this really an either or thing here?
Can’t shoulders be for both greatness and also dandruff?
What if you’re the greatest dandruff-producer in the world? Cannot your shoulders be for both greatness and dandruff? That person could be awarded a Guinness Book of World Records record for dandruff greatness, and then surely the twain shall meet upon his or her great shoulders, right? No?
Instead of PBS using things like Great Performances to get donations, why not punish us into capitulating by screening lame shows like Meh Performances: what Great Performances would be without top tier talent.
We’d see shows with Z-list actors running around with cardboard swords and shields spouting awfully acted Shakespearian dialog filmed by smartphone shaky-cams, and the host could say: “This is your future if you don’t donate to PBS now!”
Maybe it would scare everyone away from PBS, but maybe it would make everyone who doesn’t want to watch CSI and NCIS clones on other networks dip down deep into their wallets to fund PBS.
Hey, you never know what grandparents will do to avoid knowing about what the youth of today is up to, so it’s worth a try!
Someone wakes up and thinks about going for their morning run, but the “Itty Bitty Pity Committee”, a tiny bunch of excuse makers, appears over his shoulder, like one of those angels or devils, and says: “You don’t have to do it, you’re tired!” The guy starts to get up, the Itty Bitty Pity Committee says: “You don’t have to do it, you didn’t sleep well!” The guy gets up and puts on his jogging outfit, and the Itty Bitty Pity Committee says: “Wait, you don’t have to do it, you don’t feel well!” And as the guy gets his (Nike) shoes on, the Itty Bitty Pity Committee starts panicking, saying: “Wait, wait! You don’t have to do it, you haven’t eaten yet!” And as the Itty Bitty Pity Committee starts jumping up and down, screaming: “Don’t do it, don’t do it!” the guy jogs out his front door, and the Itty Bitty Pity Committee gets knocked out by the top of the door frame, falling down on the floor behind him and dissolving in a puff of smoke while they scream: “No-o-o-o-o-o! Don’t doooooo i-i-i-i-it!”
And then the slogan appears on the screen: “Just Do It.”
And in follow-up ads, the Itty Bitty Pity Committee could try to nag people into not achieving other goals with excuses like: “You don’t have to do it, you just got dumped by your girlfriend!” and: “You don’t have to do it, it’s raining outside!” and: “You don’t have to do it, you just lost your job!” But the person does it anyway, whatever the ‘it’ is, and the slogan appears: “Just Do It.”
(I guess they could also be called the: "Itty Bitty Quitty Committee" if needs must.)
Check your privilege, it’s Privilege Man, the super villain!
Yes, check your privilege to make sure you still have any,
because Privilege Man has the power to steal away everyone’s privilege!
That’s right: It’s not enough that he already has male
privilege, and white privilege, and superpower privilege, and bad boy
privilege… He wants all privilege, and he can get it too, to be the most
privileged person ever!
No one can defeat his super-powered privilege, allowing him
to get upgraded at every flight, get into every nightclub, get backstage access
at every sold-out concert, priority status on every deal, the best rates on
every mortgage: everything your heart desires and cannot have is his for the
Actually, this would make a pretty good advertising mascot
character for one of those credit card rewards program ad campaigns, huh? So
long as they didn’t mind making liberals mad at them for glorifying privilege. (Privilege
forbid!) But in that case, he’d be a superhero of privilege to his friends and
family, and a super villain to everyone else who doesn’t have that card’s
rewards program (and to the competing credit card companies).