Thursday, March 26, 2015

Gas-X Terrance and Phillip Ad (Joke/Proposed)

As we all know, Terrance and Phillip are South Park characters, Canadians who have a TV show (and a movie) where they basically just fart and laugh, and the kids in South Park love this brand of humor. Oh, but their parents disapprove of this potty stuff, so in South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut, Kyle’s mother leads a charge to war with Canada over their toilet humor. Oh, but there’s a better way that would save so many lives, and it’s Gas-X!

Yes, simply secretly lace Terrance and Phillip’s food with Gas-X, and they would no longer be able to fart on cue, and as a result, it would destroy their careers, saving the world from toilet humor (for now…).

So the ad would work like this: Stan, Kyle and the boys would watch Terrance and Phillip, and Kyle’s mother would catch them, and she’d say there must be some way to stop this kind of toilet humor. And then she’d get a brainwave, and she’d get some Gas-X gel caps and a box of chocolates, and she’d use a syringe to impregnate the chocolates with Gas-X, and then she’d send them to Terrance and Phillip, who upon receiving them would eat some, and fart no more, losing their careers. And so the world is safe from fart jokes, thanks to Gas-X!

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Gas-X Complaining Judge’s Chair Ad

In this fun ad for Gas-X (Wow, a fun ad for an anti-gas product? No way!), we see a red leather chair complaining that the judge sitting on it stinks. But I always thought chairs liked the smell of ass: otherwise, why did they decide to become chairs? Did they think we farted rainbows or cologne?

I have written so many spec Gas-X ads on this blog, it’s crazy. And they’re all silly and fun. But while I don’t like this one as much as any of mine, this is definitely a step in the right direction. Flatulence is funny: play up the fun!

Here’s the smelly seat spot:

Actually, now that I look this ad up, it seems they’ve been making chair-related ads for Gas-X for about a year. So then why is this the first time I’ve seen one on TV? Wow, they must be trying to hide them.

Subaru Back Seat Ad

This current Subaru spot with a little girl shown growing up in the back seat of her mother’s Subaru is really cute and heart-string tuggy. But at the end, the mother says her daughter grew up in the backseat of her Subaru. And then I was hoping she’d say: “And that’s only natural, seeing as how she was conceived in the backseat of a Subaru too.”

Here’s the sweet Subaru spot:

Hey, seeing as how this girl grew up in the backseat of a Subaru, maybe this ad, or a later one, when she’s in college, could use the Zodiac Mindwarp sing: “Backseat Education.”

This is “Backseat Education”:

Monday, March 16, 2015

Just for Men Mustache Twirlers Ad (Joke/Proposed)

To the tune of the usual silent movie actioner piano, a silent movie type villain threatens a hapless heroine, but when he reveals his nefarious plan and laughs, she laughs back, stating that his white mustache makes him look like a feeble old man. Well, hearing this, our foul fiend retreats to his hideout to apply some Just for Men, and having accomplished his fiendish task, he accosts other victims with greater success, after which he twirls his mustache at the camera. Then the announcer says that you need a youthful look to get the desired result, and to accomplish it, use Just for Men.

Sunday, March 15, 2015

Burger King French Fries Ronald McDonald Attack Ad (Joke/Proposed)

A recent BuzzFeed video (as seen on Yahoo!) ranked fast food French fries by taste test, and what do you know, but Burger King’s fries won. And so, to promote this, I thought this might call for a TV spot proclaiming Burger King’s purported French fry superiority over McDonald’s. And it could go like this:

The Burger King (the recent ad mascot for Burger King) sits upon his throne, and he is served a silver platter with a large order of McDonald’s French fries. He takes a few in his hand and he tries them, and he does not like them. Then we zoom out to see that it’s Ronald McDonald (the court jester) who served the fries, and the Burger King asks him: “Is this supposed to be some kind of a joke, you clown?” Then he yells, to the guards: “Take him away!” And the guards drag Ronald McDonald off (maybe to be made into a Whopper). And then the announcer says that Burger King fries beat all other fast food restaurants, including McDonald’s, for best tasting in a 2015 taste test.

Then, as the tag, we see the Burger King eating an order of Burger King French fries, and he says, after taking a bite: “There; now that’s fit for a king!”

Here’s the taste test story:

Saturday, March 14, 2015


A new TV series is coming soon about Supergirl. And that made me think of another super character: Supermodelgirl. Her super powers would be to project an unhealthy body image to impressionable young girls, and to control young men with the power of her looks. I wonder if they’ll make a TV series about her.

Statues of Stone Cold Terror (The Horror Movie)

The terrorist group ISIS destroyed a bunch of priceless ancient statues recently in Northern Iraq, and it made me think of those horror movies where someone finds something inside an ancient statue, and it releases an ancient evil that kills everyone, like The Wishmaster, Hellboy, etc. And I thought it might make for a nice horror movie to show a terrorist group like ISIS destroying ancient statues when they release some ancient evil that kills them all (in the same manner the terrorists destroyed the statues: freezing them into human statues with magic and beating them to pieces with blunt force trauma) before being inadvertently killed itself afterwards by an airstrike. And this way we’d get to root for the monster.

And the ads could say: “A contemporary evil awakens an ancient evil.”

Thursday, March 12, 2015

Viagra “Up” Ad (Joke/Proposed)

In this joke/proposed ad for Viagra, we see the old man from the Pixar movie Up, and he is frowning. Then, he takes a little blue pill, after which he looks down and smiles. Then titles appear, saying: “Up, starring an elderly man and Viagra.”

TD Ameritrade Sheep Ad

A sheep to recommend stockbrokers? Um, okay. But since the sheep breaks the guy’s smartphone, it seems more destructive than inviting. Shouldn’t the sheep at least say the money he’ll earn through TD Ameritrade will more than make up for the cost of a new phone?

I mean, I get the joke with the cloven hoof and all, but still, ad mascots maybe shouldn’t screw over the people they’re trying to win over. And I don’t understand the reason for the sheep. Did the guy have trouble sleeping, but he could only muster one sheep to count?

This ad is called: “The Confident Lamb”. Is that an expression I’m not familiar with that has some kind of meaning that would explain the presence of a sheep in an investment commercial?

Here’s the sheepish spot:

Blackberry Hillary Clinton (Joke) Ad

We all know that the Blackberry cellular phone has been on the decline for a while, and that they really could use some big attention-grabbing pitch to lure new customers. Well, thanks to the Hillary Clinton email scandal, they just got their lifeline! All they have to do is make an ad like this:

We see Hillary Clinton in a press conference (or in an oversight committee hearing), and they’re asking her what nefarious purpose she had to use only one phone while Secretary of State, and she says: “I only like using a Blackberry, okay? Is that a crime? I’d rather be brought up on ethics charges than use any other kind of cell phone! Blackberry is so good, I’d risk the presidency for one!”

Then, surely the Blackberries would fly off the shelves, right? (No? People still wouldn’t want them anymore? Oh, well: I tried my best.)

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Midol “My Doll” Ad (Joke/Proposed)

We open on a young woman, and she looks at the camera and says: “When I was a little girl, and I felt bad, my doll always made me feel better.” And as she says this, we cut to a little girl sick in bad, and her mother hands her a doll, and the girl hugs the doll and smiles. Then we cut back to the woman, who says: “And now that I’m grown up, when I feel bad, Midol makes me feel better.” And she holds up a bottle of Midol.