Tums Jonah & the Whale Ad (Joke/Proposed)

In a joke on a Discovery Channel type of historical biblical documentary show, a (fake) historian or archaeologist would explain how the biblical figure Jonah survived inside the stomach of the whale (or great fish, or whatever version of the Bible you have calls it) without being digested by using Tums to neutralize the acid inside the whale's stomach. And then the historian/archaeologist would add that it's obvious Jonah used Tums, because otherwise Jonah wouldn't have been able to survive inside a stomach for three days and three nights, but rather, he would have been burned and drowned by the stomach acid and digested. And so as we can clearly see, without Tums, the biblical story of Jonah never could have happened realistically or believably (which we all know it totally did).