Eyewitness News 7 Mornings Ad

This ad shows a really cute image: someone twirling an umbrella with the rainbow pattern on it your computer makes when it’s taking too long to load something. Then the announcer tells us to wake up to Eyewitness News mornings.

Wow, I love this concept and visual, but not for Eyewitness News, because it makes it look like it will crash your browser or something. Or maybe they’re suggesting they know about how ISPs intentionally slow down broadband Internet service to make us sign up for more expensive plans, and they are suggesting we can get the news and weather we need faster by watching their show on TV? If that’s what they meant, then they nailed it message- and image-wise. (Although it still probably takes longer to find out what you need on TV unless your Internet connection is completely down.) But I think it’s a stretch to think they meant what I just suggested, at least from the little 3-second spot I just saw during the Oscars.

But this image would work great as an ad for one of those ISPs trying to get us to sign up for a faster Internet plan: simply have the announcer say: “Rainy days are great for staying in! But is your Internet connection too slow to enjoy it? Then upgrade today to (whatever plan, blah, blah…)

(BTW: I cannot seem to find this ad online to show you. But I described it pretty well, so you can imagine it easily enough.)

Google Play Heart Ad

Wow, I thought this was going to end up being a really, really expensive ad for the American Heart Association, but it ended up being for Google Play. (?)

I think it’s stretching it a bit to associate your product or service solely with the heart, especially if it is not specifically (or at least metaphorically) heart-related. It’s like they couldn’t think of anything concrete to convince us, so they went the nebulous route. (Google Play is all about the heart? I don’t follow this logic, somehow.)

I think this ad is really slick and everything, but not such a good ad for Google Play, because it’s too non-specific. I mean, it looks nice, and it takes us on a little journey and everything, but where it ends up is not so logical or sensical. Maybe repurpose it for a dating app, a florist shop, a Valentine’s Day gift, or the American Heart Association. But this could be an ad for so many things, and many that are way more relevant are memorable through this approach than Google Play. (See what I mean?)

Here’s the spot with its heart in the right place, even if the product is a bit star-crossed with the strategy:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bKsQOxIavE

AT&T Mark Cuban Ad

In this ad for AT&T, billionaire Mark Cuban (Why does he do ads again?) talks to the AT&T mascot spokeswoman, and after she offers him an allegedly good deal (wherein his unused data is ‘rolled over’ to the next month), he asks her: “Sounds great, but what’s your angle?” to which she says: “I don’t think I have any angles.” To which I imagined he said: “Well, you’ve got some nice curves, so how about ‘rolling over’ with me?” (I know: that’s such an offensive thing for him to have said in my imagination! I think he should have to apologize for saying that in my imagination.)

(Just a joke: please don’t kill me. But the: “I don’t think I have any angles” comment really suggests it, don’t you think?)

Here’s the rolling over spot:

http://www.ispot.tv/ad/7J2t/at-and-t-rollover-data-negotiate-featuring-mark-cuban

Dandruff Shampoo Space Ship Ad (Proposed)

It’s Christmastime, and astronauts aboard a rocket ship in space notice something snowing on them inside the ship. At first they think it’s beautiful, making the ship seem like a festive snow globe, but then they wonder what it is, so they try to find out where it’s coming from. Well, it ends up being dandruff that’s coming off of another astronaut’s head, and they’re all grossed out, but they’re stuck with it for however many months or years. Then the announcer says that the embarrassment of dandruff here on Earth may not be quite as drastic as it would be if we were trapped in a space ship together with other people, but it’s still pretty mortifying. So to help get rid of dandruff, use (dandruff shampoo brand).

2001: A Space Odyssey and 2010 were on TCM today, so I couldn’t help but think of this. But this is also similar to my previous Gas-X Space Station ad from 2013, found here:

http://unconditionedresponse.blogspot.com/2013/08/gas-x-space-station-ad-jokeproposed.html

Oscars Ratings

The Oscars are tonight, and CBS Sunday Morning said the highest rated Oscars show was in 1998. Well, the Super Bowl keeps breaking records every year for viewership, so maybe the Oscars could do something like the NFL to keep higher ratings rolling in each year?

I was thinking maybe if actors would tackle each other on the red carpet, that might help. But during the show, rather than say who wins the award, why not throw it up in the air as a “Hail Mary” pass, and let the nominees fight over who catches it? That would be way more exciting, and more the type of competition viewers could get caught up in rooting for.

Oh, and if the Oscars had a drug policy like the NFL, that might be fun too. All nominees would have to do urine screenings after the red carpet part, and anyone failing a drug test would be eliminated from competition, you know, for the good of the children who idolize them. And afterwards, the Academy could auction off all the famous urine for charity.

This approach might attract more viewers than the format we’re currently offered.

Prudential Dominos Ad

This is the spot where progressively larger “dominos” fall into each other to push over one last enormous domino, representing future financial retirement needs.

This ad presents a great visual metaphor, but somehow I feel like it could have been even better, by making the dominos look like money, or bonds, or bills, to indicate the increasing monetary requirement retirement necessitates.

But at the beginning of the spot, the spokesman stands in front of the enormous domino at the end of the line, and all I could think of was what would happen if someone tripped over the first, tiny domino, or the wind blew it over. Then he’d be crushed to death under the retirement requirement metaphor!

But had the spokesman been crushed under the last, giant domino, that would work for the message too, with a new spokesman walking on camera and saying that if you’re not adequately prepared for retirement, you could get crushed under your financial needs, just like the first spokesman was crushed under the large domino representing them. (In fact, that might put an exclamation point on the issue, showing how dire it can be if you are not prepared for retirement. And they could claim that the first spokesman realized he was not prepared, and he let the domino fall on him purposefully rather than face an inadequate financial future in retirement.)

Here’s the crushing commercial:

http://www.ispot.tv/ad/7Cj6/prudential-the-prudential-dominoes-experiment

UPS Football Ad (Proposed)

In this proposed ad for UPS, we’d see the UPS team (“The Browns”) playing against the NFL All-Stars in a big game. And in this game, we’d see the Browns handing off and running packages around defenders and down the field to deliver the packages safely and quickly. And finally, the Browns (well, the UPS Browns, anyway) would win the big game!