Farmers Insurance Abominable Snowman Ad

Here we see little boys throwing snowballs at a car, and then we see the snowballs hit the car, and then they say you’re covered for that, but then we see a huge snow boulder crush the car (thrown by an abominable snowman), and they say you’re not covered for that.

This is great! Super fun and demonstrates the point they’re trying to make, which is talking about the importance of knowing what is and is not covered in your insurance. After seeing it 500 times, I will probably be very tired of it, but after seeing it for the first time, I love it.

I have to wonder, though: you’d be covered for the little kids’ snowballs, and you’d probably want to tear them a new one; but the abominable snowman really hurt the car, and you’re not covered for the damage, but I’d bet most people would just let the abominable snowman slide on this one. After all, not only might it cause you grievous bodily harm, but conservationists would attack you too when they found out you assaulted a rare animal. 

Here’s the snowball spot:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=urSPTEtpsJ8

Iran Shifts Nuclear Program to Develop "Nucular" Weapons

The groundbreaking nuclear deal President Obama has been forging with Iran will reportedly bar them from developing a nuclear weapon. But since people often call nuclear weapons "nucular" weapons, Iran has figured out that they can easily use this distinction without a difference to continue with their atomic weapons development, and when they are discovered in the act, or actually succeed in developing a bomb, and they are confronted about their activities, they can say they are not working on nuclear weapons, but rather, "nucular" weapons, and those were not covered in the agreement. And then they can say, when asked if their program is indeed producing nucular weapons, they can say: "It depends on what the meaning of the word 'is' is."

And once we hammer out a new deal to ban Iran from developing "nucular" weapons, they will alter their program again to produce "atomic" weapons.

(Lots of people, including former President George W. Bush, incorrectly call nuclear weapons "nucular" weapons; and since treaties are based on the letter of the law, Iran could try it, and they might even get away with it. So I hope the Iran deal includes word derivations and all terms referring to nuclear weapons to avoid the possibility of Iran using this tactic.)

The Origin of the Easter Bunny and Easter Eggs

Over the years I have seen numerous attempts to explain why Easter, a holiday associated with Jesus, has a tradition of bunnies with eggs. But none of them has revealed a believable solution. But I believe I may have found the answer, and it goes something like this:

When Jesus was a child, He was pecked by a chicken, so Jesus didn't like chickens so much. The animals Jesus really liked were the bunnies: they were cute, sweet, adorable, innocent, etc. But Jesus also liked eggs, and not wanting to be around chickens, Jesus used His miracle powers to make His bunnies lay eggs. And to differentiate these eggs from regular chicken eggs, He made the bunnies lay brightly-colored and patterned eggs.

And this is how bunnies with festively-colored eggs became associated with Easter.

Or, perhaps it could be…

Clorox Bleach Shroud of Turin (Joke) Ad

In this (joke) ad for Clorox Bleach, someone is cleaning up at the cathedral in Turin, Italy, after Easter, and they see the Shroud of Turin up on the wall. Well, not knowing what it is, it just looks like a dirty cloth to them, so they decide it would be a nice gesture to wash it and get it as clean as possible for the church. And so the next day we see the Shroud of Turin up on the wall, and it's completely clean and bright white, with all of the image of Jesus and the bloodstains and the burn marks completely gone. The priest in charge nearly has a heart attack when he sees the image of Jesus gone from the shroud, and when he blows his top at the custodian who washed it, they say: "I thought cleanliness was next to Godliness."

Then the announcer says Clorox Bleach will remove any kind of stain like a miracle, making any article of clothing look brand new again, regardless of how old or stained it may be.

(This was inspired by the CNN Finding Jesus special on the Shroud of Turin, as well as the recent trend of religious paintings being "restored" by people who accidentally ruin them.)

Here's a story about a "restored" fresco of Jesus:

http://www.npr.org/blogs/thetwo-way/2012/09/20/161466361/woman-who-ruined-fresco-of-jesus-now-wants-to-be-paid

Cathy the Catheter: Catheter Advertising Mascot?

I keep seeing boring, matter-of-fact catheter ads on cable news channels, and I wonder if they could make them fun for a change. How about an animated catheter ad mascot and spokesperson called Cathy the Catheter? She’d be a skinny catheter with googlie eyes and her mouth would be the hole urine goes through. She would be so helpful, surely Cathy would make people stampede out to the store to buy catheters, right? (No? Oh, well…)

UPS “Speed” (Joke) Ad

The current UPS ad asks what if something that has to be shipped is a flu vaccine that must stay below 41 degrees. And that made me think maybe the next ad in this campaign should say: “What if the package is a bus that must stay above 50 mph or it will explode?” And if UPS can successfully figure that out, I will definitely ship all of my stuff with them.

Secret Antiperspirant Hillary Clinton (Joke) Ad

In this (joke) ad for Secret Antiperspirant, we'd see Hillary Clinton being grilled on Capitol Hill, and the announcer says: "Secret antiperspirant helps keep you dry in the most stressful situations. Secret stonewalls perspiration, and helps cover up anything that doesn't smell right. In fact, Secret wipes away all evidence of corruption, keeping you smelling like a rose all day! That's secret: keeping the stinky truth away from the public!" Then Hillary Clinton turns to the camera and asks: "How do I keep staying so fresh? That's my Secret!"