Butter "Margarinescotch" Ad (Joke/Proposed)

Kids are offered candies by their grandmother, the kids ask what the candy is, and they're told: "margarinescotch" (instead of butterscotch), and the kids say: "Eeewwwwww!" Then the announcer says: "There's just nothing as good as 100% real butter."

Lip Blam

Lip Blam: The brand of lip balm that makes your lips swell up in size for that effortless "duck face" look all the time!

Silver & Gold Olympics Song (Proposed)

With all this talk of silver and gold medals, and the battle for silver and gold in the Ladies Figure Skating competition last night, I couldn’t help but think of that song: “Silver and Gold” (sung by Burl Ives as an animated snowman) from the old Rankin Bass Christmas special: Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. And then I thought how this song could be slightly altered to be a fun Olympics promo song, or an Olympics-themed advertising jingle.

So here’s my (slightly) altered version of the song for use as Olympics promo theme music or an ad jingle:

(Based upon: “Silver and Gold”, from Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, sung by Burl Ives)

Silver and gold, silver and gold,

Athletes competing for silver and gold,

How do you measure its worth?

Just recognition of skill and hard work.

Silver and gold, silver and gold,

Means so much more when I see,

Silver and gold decorating,

Athletes from my country.

Here’s the song “Silver and Gold”, sung by Burl Ives:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rY-XDQN6ipE

And of course, having a snowman sing a song for the Winter Olympics would be especially appropriate.

Olympics Women's Hockey Tampax Ad (Proposed)

We see well-known women's hockey players playing for the US and Canadian teams in stiff competition. A player shoots and scores, and the (female) announcer says: "Tampax won't let your period get in the way of your period."

(Tampax is owned by P&G, and P&G is an Olympics sponsor, so this would work well as an Olympic ad.)

Super G Skiing Song

(Based upon the song: "Super Freak" by Rick James)

She's a mega skiing girl,
The kind you'd love to take to Mammoth,
She will never let you beat her down,
Once you get her on her skis,
(Oh, girl!)

She fights the boys down the bend,
She says the climb up's not her favorite,
When she makes her move with you she gets the top time,
She's very hard to beat,
(Go, go!)

That girl is pretty wild now,
That girl does Super G,
The kind of girl you read about,
In skiing magazines,
Her style is super sleek yeah,
That girl does Super G,
I really love to race her,
Every time we meet!

Skis all right,
Skis all night,
That girl's alight with speed.
Yeah...

Hey hey, hey, hey...!

She does Super G, Super G,
She's super racing now,
Everybody sing,
Super G, Super G!

She's a competitive girl,
(The kind of girl who wants to win,)
From her head down to her toenails,
(Down to her skis, yeah!)
And she'll race you down the back way with her girlfriends,
On her little skis,
(Long and red and shiny.)

She screams so loud oh when she wins,
Since she's been four she has been skiing,
When she gets them she holds trophies by their handles,
It's such a thing to see!

That girl Ester Ledecka,
That girl does Super G,
The kind of girl you read about,
In snowboard magazines,
That girl Mikaela Shiffrin,
That girl does Super G,
I really like to face her,
Every time we ski!

Skis all right,
Skis all night,
That girl's alight with glee.
Yeah...

Hey hey, hey, hey...!

She does Super G, Super G,
She's super skiing now,

(Temptations sing!)
(Whoa!)

Super G, Super G,
That girl does Super G!
(Whoa!)

She's a mega skiing girl,
The kind you want to take to Mammoth,
She will always race you skiing down,
Once you get her on the slopes,
(Snow, daddy!)

(BTW: Apologies to people offended by the use of the word: "girl". I did not write the song this was based upon; only this homage to it and these great Olympic skiers. And I think this would make a good advertising song for one of these two in future competitions, or in product endorsements.)

And here it is, although it needs no introduction: "Super Freak", by Rick James:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QYHxGBH6o4M

Wrinkle Cream Rip van Wrinkle Ad (Proposed)

Rip van Wrinkle is actually Rip van Winkle, but after sleeping for so long, he has developed such sleep-induced wrinkles on his face that everyone calls him Rip van Wrinkle. So, irritated by this insulting nickname, our hero ventures forth to find a wrinkle cream to rid himself of his nicknamesake wrinkles, soon finding the brand of lotion/wrinkle cream the ad is for, and using it to remove said facial wrinkles. And upon removing the wrinkles, people who see him are amazed at how wrinkle-free he now looks, and they apologize for having previously referred to him as Rip van Wrinkle. But Rip van Winkle says there are no hard feelings, because they alerted him to his wrinkle problem, which thanks to them he has now solved. And he thanks them by giving them a jar/bottle of the product so they can be wrinkle free as well. Then the announcer says: "Take the wrinkle out of time, with (product)."

The Wolf Man Song

(Based upon the classic children's song: "This Old Man")

This Wolf Man, he had paws,
He killed this man with his claws,
With a bit neck, paddywhack,
Give a wolf a bone,
This Wolf Man came roaring home.

This Wolf Man, he went howl,
Then he ripped out this man's bowels,
With a bit neck, paddywhack,
Give a wolf a bone,
This Wolf Man came roaring home.

This Wolf Man, he went roar,
He killed this man on the floor,
With a bit neck, paddywhack,
Give a wolf a bone,
This Wolf Man came roaring home.

This Wolf Man, made you dead,
Then he ripped off this man's head,
With a bit neck, paddywhack,
Give a wolf a bone,
This Wolf Man came roaring home.