Puppet Government (The New TV Series)

It’s Puppet Government, the upcoming comedy TV series where the most important government-related news is acted out using puppets of government officials! See who’s pulling the strings in today’s government, where you’ll see marionettes of the president and Congressional leaders being manipulated by large corporate interests wearing the logos of their companies right on their blazers! Tired of incompetence and corruption in government, Puppet Government will cut them down to size and make them dance for you!

That’s Puppet Government, coming soon to a network near you!

The Prepper Handbook (The New Sitcom)

When I was growing up, there was this book called The Preppie Handbook that was very popular. Now there’s a movement of people preparing for disasters, nuclear war, the apocalypse, etc., and they’re called: “Preppers”. It’s kind of a silly phenomenon, so I think it would be a ripe subject for a sitcom (especially since it’s mostly conservatives doing it, and Hollywood loves to ridicule conservatives). And it could be called: The Prepper Handbook, after the book The Preppie Handbook. And the ads for the show on bus stops and in subways and such could have a poster like the old nerd and preppie posters, showing all the things a character needs to be a nerd or a preppie, but this time featuring all the things you’d need to be a prepper (“Are You a Prepper?”).

And the show would show all the silly things that happen to a family of preppers living down in some bunker in the desert, and all the practical jokes pulled on them by the locals they buy supplies from. Some days the townspeople all hide from the family to make them think everyone’s dead, sometimes they sport those radioactivity sensors and wear bald caps, claiming there was a nuclear war, but the government covered it up, etc. And each week it’s something new, just like in a cramped, secluded modern-day Gilligan’s Island-esque setting.

It’s all the apocalyptic doomsayer prepper action you can handle, it’s The Prepper Handbook: Coming soon to a network near you!

Here’s the old “Are You a Preppie” poster:

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/db/28/e4/db28e4ffd88fc471107612cb69530ee9.jpg

And here’s the old: “Are You a Nurd?” poster (< Nurd?):

http://s130.photobucket.com/user/loupismcw/media/Nerdthumb.jpg.html

Toothpaste Halloween Ad (Proposed)

We see scenes from horror movies where monsters like vampires and werewolves and such bare their teeth (like Amanda Donohoe in Lair of the White Worm), and after a few of these, the announcer chimes in, saying: “Go ahead, show off your teeth this Halloween! You use (whatever brand of toothpaste)! And when you brush with (whichever brand of toothpaste), you needn’t fear cavities from all that candy, either.”

This is Amanda Donohoe in Lair of the White Worm:

http://images.best-horror-movies.com/amanda-donohoe-horror-ladies.jpg

Here’s Christopher Lee as Dracula:

http://i.ytimg.com/vi/NBHmS8pg2pc/maxresdefault.jpg

http://amazingstoriesmag.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/dracula_01.jpg

Here’s the Xenomorph from Alien:

https://tropeanddagger.files.wordpress.com/2015/02/jaws.jpg

And here are some werewolves baring their teeth:

http://www.movpins.com/big/MV5BMTg1MzMxMTAzMl5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwNjMwMDc2MTE@._V1/the-wolf-man-(1941)-large-picture.jpg

http://www.peacheschrist.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/122-NASCHY.jpg

http://elcinedeloqueyotediga.net/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/InMemoriamPaulNaschyHombreLobo.jpg

http://www.cinemablend.com/images/news_img/25127/The_Wolf_Man_2_25127.jpg

Hardware Store Halloween Ad (Proposed)

We see a vampire cornered in their castle by a couple of people wielding crosses and flashlights, and when the vampire retreats to its coffin, our heroes drive a stake through the vampire’s heart, showing off the hammer and the stake and the flashlights in the process. Then the announcer says: “(Hardware Store): We’ve got everything you need for whatever project you’re working on. Whether you’re building coffins or driving a stake through a vampire’s heart, count on (Hardware Store) to get the right tools for the job.”

Man-o-gram

NPR had a discussion today about the new recommendations for mammograms. Then they referenced prostate exams, and it made me think men everywhere who heard that probably squirmed a little bit in their seats. So then how about changing the name of the prostate exam to a: “man-o-gram”. Then perhaps it would generate less anxiety in men, plus sound more manly to boot so maybe men would want to get the exam to feel more manly.

Vegan Food Brand “Rated ‘V’ for Vegan” Ad (Proposed)

In 1970, there was a movie called Hexen bis aufs Blut gequält (Mark of the Devil for the English-speaking market), and it was an early torture porn movie that used the torture and gore aspect to market the film with the slogan: “Rated ‘V’ for Violence”.

Well, that slogan worked really well, and the movie made tons of money. So I thought, why not use this same idea for something less harmful, like health food? It would be the complete opposite from the original “Rated ‘V’” campaign’s aims, and I think that might be fun.

So how about an ad for a vegan food company where it looks like a movie trailer, and it says, at the beginning: “Rated ‘V’ for Vegan!” Then we could see beautifully photographed vegan foods, one after the other, and at the end, we cut to the movie theater where the crowd is watching the trailer, and they all clap and cheer vigorously, and then we see that the audience is made up of all farm animals meat comes from, like cows, pigs, chicken, turkeys, ducks, lamb, goats, etc. And they all love the idea of vegan food!

And in another ad in this campaign, we could see carnivore cinema patrons covering their eyes in fright at the vegan food shown onscreen, making a joke about and inverting the message of the classic (pulled) Little Caesars “Meatsa Meatsa” ad from the 1990s.

This is the Little Caesars “Meatsa Meatsa” ad:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IhOeHZ7mmM4

And here’s the Wikipedia page for Mark of the Devil referring to the “Rated ‘V’ for Violence” shtick:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mark_of_the_Devil

Vegan Food Company Coyote & Road Runner Ad (Proposed)

After opening on the introduction of the Road Runner, with comic genus label, and the Coyote, with his joke genus label: “Carnivorous Vulgaris”, we see a compilation of scenes from the Warner Bros. Road Runner cartoons where Wile E. Coyote is harmed again and again by his own never-ending attempts to capture, kill and eat the Road Runner. Then the announcer says: “Look at how a diet of meat can harm the body. Don’t let this happen to you! Go vegan! This stuff would never happen to a vegan! Eat (whatever brand of vegan food)!”