This could never be done as a real advertisement because the Beastie Boys have decided their music would never be allowed to be used in ads. That’s kind of ironic that they would limit how people are permitted to use their music, since so much of their music is made out of samples of other people’s music, some of them quite long and the source unmistakeable, that they used, from what I understand, without prior permission. So it’s seems a little bit hypocritical to say the least that they would deny anyone the right to use their music in any way whatsoever. But surely in a case like this, where their song would be used to help sell laxatives, they would happily make an exception I’ll bet, don’t you think? No? Okay, well, this is just a joke ad anyway, and I’m pretty certain I’m allowed to parody one of their songs for a fake ad if I want to. And I want to, because it would make for a very silly, fun laxative commercial. (I think a fake joke ad should be fair use.)
So in this joke ad for Phillips’ Caplets, the Beastie Boys classic song: “Body Movin’” would have its title and lyrics altered slightly for the purpose of the commercial, and the title would be tastefully changed to: “Potty Movin’”. Now how could anyone take issue with a classy concept like that?
And so the lyrics would be altered for the joke laxative ad like so:
Potty movin’, potty movin’,
Ah, Potty movin’, we be potty movin’.
Potty movin’, potty movin’,
Potty movin’, we be potty movin’,
Potty movin’, potty movin’,
Ah, sit down and it feels so soothing,
Potty movin’, potty movin’,
We be sittin’ down trying to make a bowel movement,
Well, let me get some action, from the back section,
When you’re constipated feels like fecal impaction,
In the bathroom sit but don’t slip a disc,
Let your behind unwind just take a risk,
I’m hunkered on the toilet since the break of dawn,
Now tell me potty people, ain’t that so wrong?
The sh!t is dockin’, my inside’s lockin’,
It’s restockin’ instead of droppin’,
I swallow down some caplet action,
Get the biotic satisfaction,
All of ya’ll there in the stall,
Sit on the bowl, and get involved with,
Potty movin’, potty movin’,
Empty bowels and it feels so soothin’,
Potty movin’, potty movin’,
Phillips’ Caplets now will help with the poopin’,
Potty movin’, potty movin’,
Empty bowels and it feels so soothin’,
Potty movin’, potty movin’,
Phillips’ Caplets now will help with the poopin’,
I have to pay the price once more,
Gave up crapping and sitting down,
Hard like rocks my butt is torn,
Want my bowels in motion cause I got the notion,
Like to get an enema of cocoanut lotion,
This constipation makin’ you insane,
You get worn down from this type of mind game,
Like a bottle of Champagne soon to pop,
I’m fine when my bottom starts to crap,
We need potty rockin’ not impaction,
Let me get some action from the back section,
Potty movin’, potty movin’,
Ah, sit down and it feels so soothing,
Potty movin’, potty movin’,
We be sittin’ down trying to make a bowel movement,
Potty movin’, potty movin’,
Empty bowels and it feels so soothin’,
Potty movin’, potty movin’,
Phillips’ Caplets now will help your bowel movin’,
My dear, here’s the master plan,
I said uncap Phillips’ and take ‘em in,
When I’m cramped up tight I scream: “Ooh, God damn!”
The caplets within will blow the dam,
Get relief when your crap has been,
Packed like sardines in a tin,
Kick off your shoes and get on the toilet,
‘Cause with the Phillips’ Caplets you’ll soon be set,
And then crap, light up the place,
And when you move your bowels you move your face,
And when your ass be full, stuck in place,
Grab yourself some Phillips’ and stuff ‘em in your face,
Oh, potty movin’, potty movin’,
Ah, sit down and it feels so soothing,
Potty movin’, potty movin’,
We be sittin’ down trying to make a bowel movement,
Potty movin’, potty movin’,
Empty bowels and it feels so soothin’,
Potty movin’, potty movin’,
Phillips’ Caplets now will help your bowel movin’.
This is “Body Movin’” by Beastie Boys (Fatboy Slim Remix), a really great, fun song even if they won’t let anyone use it for ads (Can you imagine how many of their songs would be used for ads if they did? I’ll bet lots!):
