Apology Website Idea

I was listening to KPCC this evening on a show called “Q”, and they were talking about offense, and how they asked artists to come up with things on this topic for a contest, and they said the winner was an artist who conceived of a website to get an apology when you need to make one. Well, I like that idea. In fact, I liked it so much that I already did the same idea over a year ago and posted it to this very blog. Here’s the post:

http://unconditionedresponse.blogspot.com/2014/09/compulsorry.html

I wonder if I can get the prize too, seeing as how I did it before the winner.

Dr. Who’s New TARDIS

Dr. Who has gotten into trouble lately in his TARDIS police box. Whenever he shows up anywhere, people start protesting, calling him a ‘pig’ and a ‘Nazi’, whipping out their cameras and cell phones and trying to goad him into violence. So the good doctor has decided to change the look of his TARDIS from a police box into a portable toilet, saying: “If I’m going to get sh!t all over wherever I go, I might as well be in an appropriate looking container.”

Viagra Aerosmith Groupies Ad (Proposed)

I think this would make for a fun and effective print ad and TV spot for Viagra: simply show the guys from Aerosmith (who are undeniably getting old by now) in their hotel room with a bunch of beautiful women pawing at them, and then just add the Viagra logo to the picture. (<Add the logo to the bottom corner of the page for the print ad, and perhaps superimpose the logo over the middle of the screen as the picture is blurred at the end of the TV spot.)

It would be the simplest way to convey the idea of what Viagra is for, and it would require no explanations whatsoever.

Just for Men Gray Area Ad (Proposed)

In this proposed ad for Just for Men hair dye, we would be told to: “Get out of the ‘Gray Zone’,” where the Gray Zone is where women are not sure they want to go out with you. And we’d see a man at a party with lots of other attractive people, but we would see him in gray scale, whereas all the other people at the party are seen in normal full color. And because he’s gray scale, the other people at the party treat him as though he’s invisible, like a ghost or something. But then he goes home and uses Just for Men to dye his hair a natural-looking color, and when he returns to the party, with his color back, everyone notices him.

Chantix “Die Hard” Ad (Joke/Proposed)

We see Bruce Willis, from the Die Hard movies, just wrapping up defeating terrorists and such, like at the end of one of the Die Hard movies, when he’s immediately accosted by people smoking cigarettes and blowing the smoke in his face. He tries to run away down the sidewalk, but people continually emerge from buildings to light cigarettes directly in his path, making him want a cigarette, so he ducks down an alley where more people are smoking, and finally he emerges onto another sidewalk, but this time a giant lit cigarette (a man in a suit like one, or a CGI one with legs, arms, and a human face) accosts him. We see a close-up of Bruce Willis’s face, and we see that he wants a cigarette; but just then he remembers Chantix, and he reaches into his pocket to get some. Then the giant cigarette fades away, and all of a sudden, there are no more people smoking cigarettes out on the sidewalk anymore, and Bruce Willis breathes a big sigh of relief. Then the announcer says: “Old habits like smoking die hard. But Chantix helps you control the cravings so you can beat the smoking habit.”

The Mortal Majority

There are plenty of people warning about the potential dangers of artificial intelligence, so why not have them form a group? It could be called: “The Mortal Majority”, named after the Moral Majority from the Reagan era, and they could be buzzkills to robots and their fans just like the Moral Majority were buzzkills to young people and what they liked in the 1980s.

New Star Wars Villain?

We all remember General Grievous I’m sure. And now that he’s gone, and we’re in a new cycle of Star Wars movies, I think we need a new villain with a similar name to fit today’s social realities: General Grievance.

Yes, after the events of episodes IV, V and VI, the Empire was defeated by a group of rebels, and without the crushing repression from the conservative Empire, the liberal rebels took over, and pretty soon their values of political correctness and tolerance spread throughout the galaxy. But just like on our own Earth, pretty soon a well-meaning attempt to discourage bullying soon became perverted to become a system of bullying all its own, turning everyone against each other, masterminded by the new Sith threat: General Grievance!

Rather than hunt down and kill his enemies, General Grievance merely takes their own words, twists them slightly, takes them out of context, and then accuses them of all kinds of bigotry and such, playing up how offended he is, broadcasting their statements everywhere throughout the galaxy and demanding they immediately tearfully apologize. But once they apologize, he uses the apology as proof that the individuals really were as bad as he said they were, and they lose all support. And in this way, General Grievance destroys the reputation and influence of everyone who stands in his way until he rules the galaxy with an iron fist!

I’m sure many people in the audience would immediately recognize General Grievance and his tactics, and it might just strike a responsive chord with fans.