Bitcoin

There's been a lot of news about Bitcoin lately, the virtual currency for Internet uses which has no actual intrinsic value whatsoever. Some adventurous investors had been trading in it, but its value crashed recently, which leads me to wonder: Is it called "Bitcoin" because it's the kind of obviously fake coin that would lead someone to test its authenticity by biting on it, and it is thus determined to be worthless? Is there a story behind the name "Bitcoin"? Is it because someone bit it and found out it was counterfeit? I wonder if it's based on that coin Underdog bites in the opening titles of the old animated series Underdog.

Here is Underdog biting the coin (It's at ~1:17):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5CMjaXNnHCk

CNN Bombing Arrest Retraction

Tonight on The Daily Show, Jon Stewart ridiculed CNN for their exclusive reporting that there had been an arrest in the Boston Marathon bombing, and then having to retract the story when it turned out there hadn't been an arrest yet. Well, having to retract a big exclusive story is embarrassing, but worse, it's boring. I mean, it's an exclusive story, right? That means nobody else has the story, so why retract it? Why backtrack at all? Next time, rather than admitting they got a bum steer and reported erroneously, they ought to claim the guy who was arrested made a daring escape, and there is now a giant manhunt on for the criminal. And when the authorities say there was no arrest yet, CNN could simply say that of course the authorities would claim there had been no arrest, when they so carelessly let this villain slip through their fingers! Think of the ratings they'd get then! (Hey, at least it would be more exciting than finding out they'd been leading us up the garden path all along.)

Carnage News Network

Wow, there sure is a whole lot of bloody, gory pictures on CNN of the Boston Marathon bombing. It's almost like their ratings are low and they're trying to sensationalize things as much as possible. I've watched more CBS News for this story, mainly because CNN got so much of the Newtown Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting facts wrong while it was being reported live, so I lost my patience and went over to CBS News, where they were correct about everything from the get-go and didn't have to retract anything, as I recall. And so I have followed this story mainly on CBS News, who have handled it with the utmost class and sensitivity from what I saw. Oh, but CBS News is not on all the time, so I switched over to CNN, only to find the most horrifically bloodstained, gory pictures and video imaginable. It was a bit egregious, if you ask me; and I'm not exactly one to talk about bad taste, with the silly, extreme jokes I make on this blog. (But they're jokes, not news.)

So I couldn't help but wonder: Is the ultra-gory coverage of the Jodi Arias trial on HLN bleeding over into the sensibilities at CNN? I mean, after all, HLN has huge ratings with that tawdry, horrific slasher-esque sensationalism & gore show trial, leaving CNN in the dust. So, um, maybe if they can get a little blood and gore in that dust, people will stampede over to watch CNN again? Sensationalism, here we come! That's CNN: Carnage News Network!

Lighting Man (The Superhero)

It’s the superhero Lighting Man: providing necessary illumination for those in need! Are you walking down a dark street at night and frightened for your safety? Did your electricity go out, and the battery in your emergency flashlight is dead? Is the restaurant you’re in too dark to read the menu? Are you straining your eyes to read in poor lighting? Does the current lighting where you are make you look less than your best? Lighting Man will save the day!

Yes, it’s Lighting Man: Originally a concert lighting guy, touring with all the big flashy rock and roll bands, he was operating a laser light show for a major summer concert tour when he was struck by lightning and became fused with the laser circuitry and infused with an internal illumination never seen before in a human being! And so now, possessed of this newfound enlightenment, he shines the way to a brighter world for those who yearn to see the light!

Using his secret identity, L. Lou Minaytor, he continues to tour with rock festivals the world over, but whenever anyone is in need of a guiding light, Lighting Man is there, traveling at the speed of light, lighting the way to brighten their day! Yes, when things are looking darkest, Lighting Man will lighten things up!

Anthony Bourdain Parts Unknown: Koreatown

Wow, this new CNN Anthony Bourdain show Parts Unknown promised to take us on a tour of the most obscure and mysterious locales on the globe, and they're starting it with a bang by traveling all the way to the mythical kingdom of Koreatown! Yes, that's right: they're sparing no expense to go all the way to the ends of the, uh, streets across town from where I am sitting right at this very moment? Yes, it's the fabled Koreatown, spoken of only in whispers in the most obscure corners of the Earth! I thought it only a legendary place like Shangri-La or the lost continent of Atlantis! No man has ever gone there and returned to tell the tale, except, like, um, maybe me, and everyone else I know who lives in L.A.

Look, I'm not trying to denigrate Koreatown or anything; it's cool and stuff, but it's not exactly "parts unknown". You can't avoid driving through it if you happen to be going to certain places in Hollywood, so it's not exactly hard to find. Maybe it's exotic to other Americans, but it seems a bit like false advertising for this new CNN show to run ads for months of Anthony Bourdain riding a donkey up a mountain path in Indochina, etc., and then have the actual show shot not only in America, but in fact, right down the street from where I am right now. Maybe next he'll visit Chinatown in New York City, Japantown in San Francisco, Germantown in suburban Philadelphia, Little Italy in New York City, Little Armenia in East Hollywood, Epcot World Showcase mini foreign countries at Disneyworld, etc? I thought the whole point of this new CNN show was to actually leave the United States and show us what other obscure places and cultures around the world are like. But we do have great diversity and large, wonderful immigrant communities throughout the United States, bringing their culture here to us. And someone could make a great show about that. But they shouldn't advertise it as being shot in foreign countries if it's shot here.

(Now, obviously they've gone to places all around the world for this show, which can be quite interesting. But this Koreatown episode was the first one I saw listed on CNN, so it seemed like they had been exaggerating a bit with their ads at first.)

The Full Weight of Justice

President Obama referred to “the full weight of Justice” in a speech about the Boston Marathon bombing attack yesterday. So, um, is the president saying Lady Justice is fat? Is that why the full weight of Justice is so fearsome? That just seems kind of rude to talk about her like that. I guess now we can understand why Justice wears a blindfold: so she can’t see how fat she looks in the mirror! (And so she can’t compare herself unfavorably to others.) Man, with all of the skinny models and the body image perception issues of ‘thin being in’ targeting women and girls and pressuring them into eating disorders to attain unrealistic body types, along with the continual slandering of overweight people by the health bullies in their hysteria over the obesity epidemic, if Justice saw herself in the mirror, she might think everyone was talking about her when they tongue-lashed the overweight; and then she might just make use of that broadsword she’s always holding. (Yikes! I wouldn’t want to be a fashion editor or a health bully when that happens!)

Oh, but if Justice is actually overweight, it makes sense why people are always talking about Justice being “served”: they’re talking about food! She’s constantly being served plates and dishes and courses and meals and desserts! Anyone would be fat if they had to eat that much! Plus, since she’s Justice, she doesn’t want to be unfair to anyone, so she feels like she has to eat everything she’s served, just so she doesn’t appear to be favoring or slighting anyone. And since she’s blindfolded, she can’t see all the stuff on the plates she’s being served, so she doesn’t know how much food she’s given, so she can’t tell when it’s too much. You know, maybe this is the problem here: We’re always forcing Justice to be served when she’s blindfolded! Who can tell whether they’re eating too much if they can’t even see what they’re being served, and they always feel like they have to eat it all each and every time? (But I guess now I understand the sword better: so she can cut her food and eat it more easily. {It’s like a really big all-in-one utensil, sort of like the predecessor of the spork. A spork might work better, but it looks a lot less classy for a lady’s fashion accessory. Although if potential criminals saw Justice with a spork, they might think she’d eat them if they got caught, and it could work as an effective crime deterrent.})

Oscar the Grouch Terrorism PSA (Proposed)

Yesterday some terrorist put bombs in trash cans near the finish line of the Boston Marathon. This could happen again somewhere, so how about a PSA to remind people to report suspicious packages and activity around municipal trash cans, trash cans at sporting events, concerts, etc.? And, naturally, the perfect character to do such a public service announcement would be the Sesame Street Muppet Oscar the Grouch. This may sound like a joke, but it’s not: it’s deadly serious, and I’m suggesting this idea because using Oscar the Grouch in national security/terrorism PSAs would be infinitely memorable, because we all know that he lives in the trash can, and almost everyone loves this character.

So here’s how this would work: The spot would open with Oscar the Grouch in his trash can, and he’d be singing about how he loves trash, or whatever, and then he’d turn to the camera and say: “Oh, hello. I live in a trash can, so I’d immediately know if something suspicious or dangerous was put in a trash can. But I can’t be everywhere at once. And that’s why I need you to report any suspicious packages in the trash, or anything suspicious occurring around trash cans in your city. If you see something, say something. We can’t let this human garbage ruin our wonderful trash! So keep your eyes open, and pitch in to help. (Singing): Oh I love trash!”

This might be silly, but it would definitely be memorable, especially for kids. And nobody would forget to be vigilant about threats in the trash if they saw this PSA, I’ll bet.

(The bombs in the trash can story initially reported turned out to be wrong, but I wrote this before I knew that.)