Myrbetriq Cartoon Bladder Ad

A recent ad campaign for a pharmaceutical called Myrbetriq (nice spelling there, guys!) shows a woman being nagged by a cartoon version of her bladder, tugging at her arm while she’s in line, etc., to indicate that she has problems with having to go to the bathroom frequently. It’s kind of a cute idea, but the idea and presentation is so similar to the ad for the antidepressant Abilify that it makes me think about those ads more than anything. (The Abilify ads are completely cartoons, as opposed to having just one animated element, but other than that, they’re amazingly similar.) I mean, the bladder is meeting with this woman and her doctor to learn about the drug just like in the Abilify ads (although at least they don’t watch a film of the doctor talking about the drug, run by the doctor wearing the exact same clothes as he does in the film). It’s cute and all, and I guess it does work as an informational ad campaign, but for my tastes it’s too similar, and as such it’s easy to mix the drugs up in your head. But if both campaigns are made by the same ad agency, it sure does save them time and money on creative work, doesn’t it? (Of course, if both campaigns are not made by the same ad agencies, then I’d guess one agency might just have a legitimate complaint of being ripped off in the concept department.)

It does strike me though that if the woman in this ad has a bladder that’s a separate entity from herself, maybe she could just leave it at home like a pet dog or cat, and perhaps that would solve her problem. You see, it’s clear that the bladder nags her a lot, but as it’s not inside her doing any job, it’s also clear that the nagging is not related to her own body function. So she really ought to just leave it at home, and then maybe she wouldn’t need the drug. (But I wonder if it’s even legal to have a pet bladder? And where did she get one anyway? Did she surgically remove it from an enemy of hers and then use black magic to make it sentient? I’m beginning to think this woman is pretty warped!)

Here’s the copycat commercial:

http://www.ispot.tv/ad/7gsb/myrbetriq-bus

And here’s an example of those Abilify ads:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tGymr78FtbU

eHarmony “Salem” Sponsorship

The new WGN series Salem is being sponsored by, among others, eHarmony. So how about a Salem-specific ad campaign? They could say that the ‘e’ in eHarmony stands for ‘evil’, and that you will find a bewitching match for a magical relationship with eHarmony, and they could say: “eHarmony: Love is the devil’s plaything.”

Also, they could show all the awful things that happen to people in the show Salem, and all the destroyed loves, and say that this is what happens to people who do not use eHarmony: they are punished by witches and demonic forces. And they could say that the whole Salem witch trials thing only happened because the accused didn’t use eHarmony.

Then eHarmony could make an ad using sexy witches as their mascots, and beckon us to experience the burning passion of love and to taste the fruits of sinful lust and carnal desires with eHarmony.

Also, with a Salem tie-in, eHarmony could make extra money selling love potions, magical trinkets for better sexual performance, psychic readings about relationship outlooks and love life predictions, as well as all kinds of spells and such to make customers more attractive to potential mates. And they could even set up a pet adoption sideline matching their customers with the perfect animal mate called: “eFamiliars”.

(Hey: at least Christian Mingle didn’t sponsor Salem!)

BTW: Because they are called “eHarmony”, I am surprised they don’t use the slogan: “eHarmony: Let’s make beautiful music together.” (Because of the expression: “Let’s make beautiful music together” being associated with love.)

Or maybe: “eHarmony: Make your heart strings sing.”

Vladdy Bear

Russia’s animal mascot is a bear, and annoyed that the Teddy Roosevelt-inspired teddy bear has become the best-loved stuffed animal in the world, Russia is planning to dethrone the teddy bear with the new Russian Vladdy Bear.

Based on the burly and often shirtless Vladimir Putin, the Vladdy Bear will be a big, strong stuffed Russian bear, but with iron fists to repress everyone with.

“It is for too long that the world has suffered under the American teddy bear hegemony,” said Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov, continuing: “Now the day has come for the Russian Vladdy Bear to invade and conquer the hearts of the world.”

Each Vladdy Bear will come with a certificate of authenticity, a secret camera and bug for surveillance, and a pull string that blames America for all the ills of the world. Get yours today and avoid being detained when the tanks roll in!

What's Black and White and Red All Over?

It's the question that's perplexed humanity for generations: What's black and white and red all over?

Well, here are some possible correct answers:

A newspaper used to bludgeon someone to death

The Panda Chain Saw Massacre

A Sergei Eisenstein propaganda film

A newspaper used as a drop cloth for a mafia hit man to chop up the bodies of his victims

A black & white Kindle stolen from a slasher killer's victim's pocket

An Oreo cookie covered with raspberry preserves

A French maid (in uniform) bathing in tomato juice because she was sprayed by a skunk

Gene Simmons's face after he spits blood (<That's Gene Simmons from KISS.)

A chessboard after an extremely sore loser gets deadly revenge against an opponent

A fax message with ketchup spilled on it

A piano keyboard covered in blood

An embarrassed skunk

A newly completed road with a two marinara sauce truck accident

Real Madrid when they lose a home game

Spice Girls to Become Hospice Girls

Realizing they’ll probably never be knighted for their music, the Spice Girls have turned to philanthropy, organizing a group of hospices for people in need. Each Spice Girl will have a specific hospice named for them and intended to treat a specific clientele. Here’s the list:

Posh Hospice: For rich and titles personages.

Baby Hospice: For sick babies.

Ginger Hospice: For ginger people, so they don’t get picked on while they’re sick.

Sporty Hospice: For injured atheles, or people injured trying to play sports or to get fit.

Scary Hospice: For goth patients. Established in a haunted old mental hospital, it’s designed to scare patients into claiming they’re well and checking out early! (Then it hopes to attract ghost hunters to help fund the other locations.)

King Thong (Proposed Tommy Hilfiger Long Boxer Briefs Ad)

A large hairy man (exaggerated to the size of King Kong) climbs the Empire State Building wearing a pair of thong underwear (and nothing else), and as he climbs, and reaches the top, his butt faces onlookers, horrifying them, with men and women alike screaming in horror. Then the announcer says: “Cover yourself right, with Tommy Hilfiger long boxer briefs!” Then we see a male model wearing the Tommy Hilfiger long boxer briefs walk down the street and everyone cheers. Then he gets into a biplane and takes off down Broadway to fight King Thong.

(I selected Tommy Hilfiger for this proposed ad because Tommy Hilfiger was the first company to bring back the long boxer brief I love that Calvin Klein used to call the Gripper Jam. Calvin Klein stopped making them, and then so did everyone else, following fashion trends like empty-headed idiots. But Calvin Klein was bought recently by another company who has run them into the ground with bad quality and lame designs, so thank God somebody thought better of following their example and brought back what thousands upon thousands of men want: the long boxer brief. Because unless you’re a model, underwear is really about comfort, and not about looking hot while being photographed.)

There are the long boxers I’m referring to (They’re called “Classic Boxer Briefs”):

http://www.amazon.com/Tommy-Hilfiger-Mens-Boxer-Brief/dp/B006ZSYQOW/ref=cts_ap_1_fbt

Shipping Gypping

I have noticed lately that lots of things you might want to buy online seem like they’re a good price until you figure in the exorbitant shipping charges. That’s how a 1¢ item can end up costing over $10, and if you’re not looking, it’s easy to fall for.

That’s why I think a good ad for a web retailer, like Amazon, or another one offering free shipping and good deals, would be to let shoppers know the shipping is free, and they don’t have to worry about “Shipping Gypping”.

Yes, foil the “Shipping Gypping” you’ll get at other places by shopping at the place you know they’ll be fair and up-front about shipping charges.