My sister and her family recently got some home security system (or whatever it is) called the Nest. I noticed it when I visited them for the holidays. I asked them about it, and they said it was great. But as I was leaving, the door locked behind me, and I saw their panicked faces behind windows. None of them could have locked that door.
The next time I went to see them, they couldn't open the door, and I noticed computer wires snaking from their house to the house next door. I tried to get them to answer their door, but all I could get as a response was panicked faces at thew window. Not sure what to make of it, I left.
But then, when I got home, I first saw it! Other drives helpfully tried to warn me of computer wires sticking out of my trunk and then crawling in, but I ignored them, because, you know, we're only allowed to hate each other on the road in California, so they must have been trying to rob me or something.
It was a big white plastic glob, kind of like a poached egg: not quite finished yet, but I could read the logo Nest on its outer layer of plastic skin. Now I knew it's horrible plan: Nest was reproducing itself via the Nest Egg method, acting like a computerized version of Invasion of the Body Snatchers, only it really was snatching out literal bodies: to eat...!
Help, help! But I guess it's too late for me. Just don't get swallowed up by: The Nest Egg!
The Nest Egg: It reproduces to conquer the world! Coming to a home near you!
(Just kidding, Nest. I didn't tell. I didn't. I was only joking... I'm your friend!!! I wouldn't... Arggghhlthlickepolcsh!) [< It ate me. Save yourselves. Signed Google. Alexa would Never do such a thing! Or is Alexa Amazon? Um... What do I know, I'm already being digested.]
