On NPR today I heard some guy talking about raising money for something, and he said: “We’re all fighting for a slice of the same charitable pie.”
And I said to myself: “Charitable Pie? Hey, that reminds me of the song: ‘Cherry Pie’, by Warrant. Maybe they could sing about a charitable pie and it would sound less suggestive.”
Let’s see if it does:
She’s my charitable pie,
Her great big assets make my charities fly,
Her tax-free status makes a rich man cry,
My sweet charitable pie!
Donations in the mail, donations on the phone,
Donate it where you like and deduct it on tax forms,
Donations from the left, donations from the right,
Paying all the charities, funding them all night, yeah!
I scream, you scream, we all scream for her,
If you need funds then you can’t ignore her!
She’s my charitable pie,
Everyone gives her money and it's no surprise,
Her sweet deductions make the tax man cry,
Sweet charitable pie!
Oh, yeah!
She’s my charitable pie,
Puts a smile on NPR’s face ten miles wide,
Funds so good brings a tear to your eye,
Sweet charitable pie!
Okay, I guess it’s still pretty suggestive. Oh well. And I thought charitable contributions were asexual.
This is “Cherry Pie” by Warrant, for those who haven’t heard it before:
