Tuesday, February 27, 2018

Superman Anti-Violence Joke PSA

We watch Superman catch and beat up a super villain, and then he turns to the camera and says: "Hi, I'm Superman. You may find me to be heroic, beating up villains and criminals like I do, but in reality, violence never solves anything. And if you try to serve up justice or settle disputes the way I always do, you'll likely be arrested and charged with assault and go to jail, if the bad guys don't just beat you up or kill you. Remember: I'm impervious to bullets; you're not. And if anyone tries to arrest me, I can simply fly away, or melt the handcuffs with my super heat vision, knock out the cops, escape, and later claim it must have been some lookalike Lex Luthor gave super powers and convinced to impersonate and frame me, while you probably can't do that. So remember kids, violence never solves anything! Except maybe that time I saved Metropolis from certain destruction by punching that asteroid to smithereens. And that time I saved Lois Lane and Perry White from being murdered by villains by beating one of them up until he revealed their whereabouts. Or that time I leapt like a speeding bullet, knocking the gun out of that assassin's hands and saving the mayor and all the innocent civilians around him at the time. Or possibly that time I smashed that bomber that was about to nuke the city. Or perhaps when I used my super strength to smash open the steel doors to the factory and beat up and apprehend the bad guys who were using it to produce poisonous gas to distribute throughout the city in an attempt to kill every last living soul in Metropolis, foiling their plans for good. Or maybe when I..." (And the sound fades out with him still talking.)