Dairy of a Madman

Diary of a Madman is on TCM this evening, which gave me an idea for a company called: “Dairy of a Madman”. This company could make all kinds of crazy milk flavors, ice cream mixes, and rare imported cheeses.

Are you crazy about cheese, milk and ice cream? Then you’ll love Dairy of a Madman!

Toilet Training Song

(To the tune of: “Surfin’ Safari” by The Beach Boys)

Let’s go poopin’ now,

Everybody’s learning how,

Come sit on the potty with me,

(Come sit on the potty!)

Well early as an infant you’ll be starting out,

Your diapers will be catching your load,

But when you get to two, you should start learning what to do,

Someday you’ll be pooping alone.

I want to take you poopin’ with me,

Yeah, I want to take you toilet training,

So come on sweet baby, poop it with me,

Yeah, I want to take you toilet training.

Let’s go poopin’ now,

Everybody’s learning how,

Come sit on the potty with me,

(Come sit on the potty!)

Moff Tarkin Song

(To the tune of: “Jive Talkin’” by the Bee Gees)

Look out for Moff Tarkin,

He holds Vader’s leash,

Moff Tarkin,

The Death Star’s unleashed,

Moff Tarkin,

Blows up Alderaan,

Moff Tarkin,

He kills who he can.

Oh my child

You’ll never know

Just how mean he can be,

Oh my child

He’ll never show

You no humanity.

Watch out for Moff Tarkin,

His stench has you floored,

Moff Tarkin,

When you’re brought onboard,

Moff Tarkin,

Interrogates you,

Moff Tarkin,

The whole evening through.

Oh my love

He’s no good

Treating you so cruel,

With his beady eyes

Leavin’ him lookin’

At your tortured soul

Because he’s

Moff Tarkin,

Where’s your rebel base?

Moff Tarkin,

He travels through space,

Moff Tarkin,

He don’t need the Force,

Moff Tarkin,

He’s evil of course.

Moff Tarkin,

Is evil refined,

Moff Tarkin,

Committing some crimes,

And if there’s somebody,

Who wants you to die,

It’s old Moff Tarkin,

He’s wicked and sly.

Moff Tarkin,

Star systems all mine,

Moff Tarkin,

They’ll fall into line,

He doesn’t believe what you say,

That mean old Moff Tarkin

Will blow you away!

Moff Tarkin,

Is evil refined,

Moff Tarkin,

Committing some crimes,

And if there’s somebody,

Who wants you to die,

It’s old Moff Tarkin,

He’s such a mean guy.

Oh Moff Tarkin,

Moff Tarkin,

Oh Moff Tarkin.

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Fungi Cure Shower Ad

This is a really cute ad, showing a couple’s feet in the shower, and the man has toenail fungus on his big toe, and the woman’s feet back away.

But in the tag, their feet get closer, but then one of her feet moves up in the air, and what do you know, it’s her foot that corresponds to his infected toe from before! I think her foot knew he was trying to give her his toenail fungus, and it preemptively moved into a defensive position.

(Actually, that that raised leg is from the kiss photograph we all know from WWII, and all the movies that make fun of it.)

Here’s the fun Fungi Cure commercial:

https://www.ispot.tv/ad/A50_/fungi-cure-shower

And here’s that famous kiss picture from WWII with the popping foot:

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2015/09/01/02/2BDC6F9F00000578-0-image-a-59_1441072326676.jpg

And here’s Batman and Batgirl doing that same pose (I assume it’s Batgirl?):

http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/leg_popping.png