Blood Thinner Captain Blood Ad (Joke/Proposed)

I’m watching a pirate movie on TCM right now called The Spanish Main, and it made me think of a silly ad concept: What if Captain Blood were the spokesman for some blood thinner medication (like Pradaxa, Eliquis, Xarelto, etc.). He could appear on camera, dressed in his crimson outfit and all his pirate regalia, and say: “Hi there, I’m Captain Blood. I know more about blood than anyone else. That’s how I got my nickname. People always ask me: ‘What’s the best blood thinner to prevent recurrent stroke?’ And I tell them that’s easy, it’s (whichever brand: Pradaxa, Eliquis, Xarelto, etc.). And I ought to know. I’m Captain Blood! And when you use (brand of anticoagulant), there’s no need for drawing blood like with Warfarin.” (And as he says: “…there’s no need for drawing blood…” he pulls out his sword and makes stabbing motions with it towards the camera.)