Hey, wait a minute! This ad shows some guy having a hugging session with a panda. That’s a fake panda! I’ve seen news stories about how pandas maul people when they try to hug them. So GoDaddy just wants us to try to hug pandas so they can secretly film us getting mauled by cute, harmless-looking pandas, and then put it on YouTube and get rich on clicks when it goes viral and everyone laughs at us for being savaged by a panda! I’m on to them! I’m not falling for that again!
Ever since their ‘go hug a lion’ promotion, I’ve known what they want! Yeah, I got mauled again, and they made a lot of money on the video! No fair! And did I get any of the profits? No, or course not!
I know what they’re up to!
(Just kidding. But they had to do something after all the sexist ads. Hey, how about pandas in bikinis washing cars? Go online to see what happens next!)
Here’s the panda pawing propaganda piece:
Want proof it’s not safe to cuddle with a panda? Look at this:
See? They want you all to die so they can film it and make money from your hilarious deaths! I knew it! (They will deny it, but you know it’s true!)
