Wednesday, May 17, 2017

Oxygenated Soft Drinks?

We keep hearing about climate change being caused by carbon dioxide. And the number one source of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere is obviously carbonated soft drinks, right? (Yes it is! Nobody wants to admit it because of the soda cartel lobby, but it’s true!) Not only do soft drinks make us fat and give us diabetes, they also cause global warming!

Oh, but now there’s a solution: oxygenated soft drinks! The more of them you drink, the more oxygen goes back into the environment, reversing catastrophic climate change! Sure, they still case obesity and diabetes and stuff, but isn’t that a small price to pay to fix the environment?