I've recently stumbled upon the best chocolate milk I've ever had: Cocoa Metro's Belgian Chocolate. But their slogan, printed on the bottle, and followed by the ™ trade mark symbol, says: "You can fire your therapist."
But this chocolate milk is so addictive, everyone will become hooked instantly, and with no addiction therapy, we'll all go insane! Plus, what about all the Belgian Chocolate drinkers who need therapy for other things? Oh, my God: they'll run wild in the streets! Kleptomaniacs will steal all the Cocoa Metro Belgian Chocolate, and without it, hypochondriacs will imagine they're dying without it, arsonists will burn down every store and restaurant, and psychotics will all be on the loose everywhere attacking and killing everyone in sight in the hopes that they may be in possession of some of that delicious Cocoa Metro Belgian Chocolate drink they so desperately desire! Oh, the humanity!
Plus, with all the therapists out of work, the unemployment ranks will swell, the economy will sputter and tank, tax revenue will dry up, and law enforcement and even the armed forces will go on strike from not being payed! There will be no one to protect us! Society will crumble into chaos, and all because Cocoa Metro makes the best chocolate milk ever made, and then created such an irresponsible slogan to go with such an addictive product! (The FDA should act to save us from such a delicious delirium! But only after this syndrome is added to the DSM-5, and government mandates are set to keep people seeing their therapists as needed despite this company's pernicious product marketing.)
And with no therapy anymore, pretty soon there will be people thinking they're chocolate milk vampires, attacking everyone with their teeth hoping they've got Cocoa Metro Belgian Chocolate flowing through their veins! And the dead will refuse to die without at least one final glass of warm Cocoa Metro Belgian Chocolate chocolate milk to send them off to their final rest. Have you seen 28 Days Later? Well, it will be worse than that!
With a broken-down society, aliens will see their chance, invade, and take over!
Quick, someone stop them from making such delicious chocolate milk before it's too late!
(You know, as good as Cocoa Metro Belgian Chocolate chocolate milk is, and with this slogan they've chosen, obviously to collapse society, I think they must be some kind of gourmet band of jewel thieves. I mean isn't it obvious what their plan is? First, corrupt society with their delicious chocolate milk drink, then encourage everyone to evade therapy, and then, when society collapses and the cops are busy dealing with all the resultant issues, they rob all the jewelry stores and all the homes of stars and aristocrats who own the best jewelry in the world. Who would ever suspect? What a clever plan! What absolute masterminds!)
(Okay, just kidding about the flights of fancy; but they do make the best chocolate milk I've ever had.)
