A recent news story on many sites across the internet informs us that selfies have killed more people than sharks this year. Well, sharks are going to have to seriously up their game if they want anyone to be scared by Jaws movies (and their plethora of copycats) anymore. But you know what else this means: the next “dead teenager” horror movie must be Selfie Slaughter!
Yes, hold onto your selfie sticks, it’s Selfie Slaughter! You can try to beat death away with it, but it just won’t work, because in Selfie Slaughter, a cursed selfie stick (owned by someone who died from taking a selfie who sold their soul to the devil for revenge just at the moment of death) is bought at a rummage sale and used by someone who dies taking a selfie. And then it’s picked up by someone at the scene of the death who then uses it and dies, etc., and the curse continues. And it turns out that the selfie stick has the power to make people feel like they’re in a safe space that’s really cool for a selfie, when in actuality they’re really in the path of a moving train, in a lion enclosure at the zoo, lying down in the middle of a busy freeway, jumping up in front of targets at a gun range, etc. And it also has the power to charm everyone who sees it into taking it and wanting to take selfies with it.
It’s the most terrifying thing teenagers have had to face since the last silly horror movie thing that threatened their lives, it’s Selfie Slaughter, coming soon to a theater near you!
Who knows: maybe it’s already happening…!
Who knows: maybe it’s already happening…!
Here’s the super scary selfie story:
