Monday, September 28, 2015

Wait Until Dark (1967)

I love Wait Until Dark, the thriller starring Audrey Hepburn about murderous drug dealers trying to recover a heroin-filled doll, because when I was a child, all we had to play with were heroin-filled dolls. There were no Barbies or GI Joes back then, only heroin-filled dolls. And whenever we played with them, Alan Arkin always showed up and tried to kill us, but that was part of the fun. Once we got other dolls, Alan Arkin never tried to kill us anymore, and it was lame. And maybe I’m wrong, but I think the social critics who say Barbie is sexist, or GI Joe is a meathead, are just mad that their dolls aren’t full of heroin anymore, so now they have to go buy it somewhere else.

(This is obviously intended to be facetious.)