Hide your home, it’s Bill of Attainder, the superhero who
confiscates property for the government under eminent domain laws!
We all know how dangerous jobs like repo man and bounty
hunter can be, but that’s nothing compared to the danger involved in using
dubious Supreme Court decisions that were politically motivated literally to
steal people’s family homes for the purpose of replacing them with strip malls
for generating more tax revenue!
We all know it’s shady. We all know it’s corrupt. We all
know it’s treason against the Constitution. That’s why the government needs a real superhero with bona
fide superpowers and underwear worn on the outside to do such a job! First, the
underwear worn on the outside makes the homeowner victims laugh, unbalancing
them. Next, our hero uses his (or her) super speed and super strength to yank
everyone out of the house and toss all their belongings onto the street while
they’re trying to regain their composure. Then, our hero’s sidekicks, the
sheriff’s department, makes sure they can’t re-enter the home by posing on the
door a super document with super words super forbidding entrance and super condemning the (perfectly structurally sound) confiscated property.
Who’s going to kick families out of their homes for the
government? Why, it’s none other than Bill of Attainder! (That’s who!)
