Truly a modern fairy tale, it’s: Bleeping Beauty!
Princess Profana was so coddled and entitled her whole life, nobody ever told her how to act, and so she got the habit of peppering her every utterance chock full of profanity. (The word ‘profanity’ was coined for her.) In fact, everything she said was so objectionable that the Royal court got in the habit of having a team of trumpeters blow their horns whenever she said anything offensive, effectively inventing the naughty word bleep we all take for granted today.
And no prince would have her, with her obscene potty mouth (and those that would’s parents refused to allow the marriage), and so she became a bitter old maid, as the story goes. (Although I have it on good authority that she did the whole thing on purpose because she didn’t want an arranged marriage in her teens, as other princesses were wont to do; but rather, she wanted to become a writer. And due to her tendency to use offensive language, she became the world’s first naughty romance novelist.)
And so the fairy tale is all about how potty mouth doesn’t pay. (Unless you like being alone. Or you want to be a writer. Or you like horns. Or you love a sailor. Or something…)
