The White House claims Santa Claus is obese, and as such is a bad example to children.
“We can’t have kids looking up to an obese person, or equating morbid obesity with being jolly, generous, and industrious. What kind of example would that set?” said a White House spokesman Friday.
So the White House recommends we leave out celery and carrots and prune juice for Santa Claus instead of milk and cookies this year. After all, it’s all those cookies that make him fat. Plus they recommend we all leave out a note suggesting Santa might want to get exercise more than one day per year. Then we can have lots of Christmases every year! (Or maybe he only does it for the cookies? I guess we’ll find out.)
It’s time to turn the judgment back on Santa Claus and say he’s naughty for always eating only cookies and encouraging children to do the same by his example.
Oh, and no worries about Santa leaving coal in your stockings this Christmas: the EPA has banned him from doing that due to fossil fuel emissions and global warming.
Oh, and no worries about Santa leaving coal in your stockings this Christmas: the EPA has banned him from doing that due to fossil fuel emissions and global warming.
