Wednesday, December 31, 2014

The Legend of Hella House

In a haunted house with a powerful malicious spirit dwelling within, and a resultant bad reputation for the death and destruction of said house's occupants, a group of young adventure seekers decides to try to awaken and make contact with the spirit through the use of a ouija board, automatic writing, a medium, etc., with cameras rolling, hoping to prove the existence of the supernatural. But the thing that really awakens the vengeful spirit's wrath is all the annoying slang and youthspeak spoken by the young paranormal investigators, especially their repetition of the words: "awesome", "like", "dope", and especially: "hella", often used in combination with other grating youthspeak colloquialisms, such as: "hella rad", "hella awesome", "hella dope", "hella sick", etc.

And so the enraged malicious entity kills them all one-by-one for over-using the "hella (whatever)" slang expressions, making them all hella scared, hella panicked, hella sorry, and eventually, hella dead. But, unexpectedly, the annoying young victims have the last laugh, as their spirits return to haunt the house as well, due to their traumatic deaths creating the circumstances necessary to establish new spiritual entities in the already haunted house. And so the new ghost entities infest the house, speaking the same annoying youthspeak colloquialisms forever after, driving away the malicious entity for good, whereupon the haunted house gets a bodacious reputation and becomes well-known the world over with ghost hunters as being the one and only haunted house to feature the manifestation of ghostly apparitions that communicate entirely in irritating youthspeak slang, especially: "hella", through audio EVPs, actual auditory phenomena emanating from ghostly apparitions, and spelled out on ouija boards and through automatic writing.

And so it was that the haunted house became known as: "Hella House"