The Middle-East Crisis Spills Over Into The Snack Aisle!
Well, there's another Middle-East summit happening now, and it's bound to fail again, as per usual. But how can products cash in on this big story? (That's what we all really want to know, isn't it?) Why, it's with a controversial advertising campaign, that's how! Controversy gets more attention than anything these days, right? After all, CNN has spent the last few years covering mostly controversial comments rather than actual news, which is why they didn't know that there are more than 100 women missing in Cleveland right now. But after all, hurt feelings are more important than lives, right? And so they keep on keeping on with the same bullsh!t. But I digress...
But the point is, offensive stuff gets more attention than anything else these days. If a Republican said something offensive, even a serial killer or a world war would get knocked off the front page, or the lead story on TV nowadays. And the more eyeballs you get, the more your advertising is worth, right? And there's just no better way to get eyeballs these days than with controversy. We even see ads that really do this all the time, and they get tons of free publicity, and then they apologize and pull the ad. And with how sensitive the news people are these days, a lot of the time, ad agencies don't even have to release or run the ad: someone will post it somewhere online, the news trolls will find it and bitch and moan about it, and the company gets free advertising without paying a dime. It's a great scam if you know how to use it...
So here's my (joke) suggestion to use this new Middle-East summit for maximum publicity value for product advertising: A brand of bagel chips and a brand of pita chips could smear each other with attack ads, like saying: "If you eat pita chips, the terrorists win!", or: "Eating bagel chips helps repress Palestinians!" And if the same company owned the bagel chips and the pita chips, they could just smear their respective brands back and forth, getting tons of coverage on the news, and drumming up tons of support from people on both sides of the issue. And so then people would buy up bagel chips and pita chips based upon their allegiances, and they'd sell, sell, sell!
And if anyone found out they owned both brands, they could just say the whole thing was a joke, playing on the whole controversy catnip news angle, and it might help to embarrass the news people into covering real news again. (<But probably not.)
