Sunday, July 21, 2013

New Animated Feature Film: Missiles?

I see that Disney is now making a movie called Planes, spun off from the Pixar Cars franchise. So if that does well, how about doing one called Missiles? It could take place in a dense pack of nuclear missiles somewhere in America, with older big missiles and younger, smaller ones. And there would be a big one that looks like a military general, and he's always raring to go and wipe out the commies and terrorists, and then there's the younger generation who don't want to have to fight in a war and die. And they could let the whole jingoist vs. pacifist generation gap thing play out in a big missile silo, with two star-crossed lover missiles who nobody wants to let be together, so they fire themselves off so they can die together like Romeo and Juliet, since nobody wants them to be able to live together. Oh, but unfortunately for the rest of the missiles, this young couple lands on Moscow, so Russia retaliates, and then all the other missiles get fired off, killing them all. It's a heartwarming story of redemption about a bunch of dilapidated, seemingly obsolete missiles who, after thinking they were forgotten, finally get the chance to go do what they were made for: causing a nuclear holocaust and the extinction of humanity. Fun for the whole family!

The only problem with this concept is that after the inevitable smash hit this movie would become, there wouldn't be much chance for any sequels. But hey, how about prequels? We could see how these lovable nuclear missiles came to be, and their backstories and stuff, with the usual kids' lunchbox and action figure merchandising tie-ins. Yes, for a movie series that's exploding with action, it's Missiles!