According to sketchy news reports, there is a coup taking
place in Egypt right now, with the military attempting to overthrow the regime
of President Mohammad Morsi. News analysts have likened this event to the
Pentagon overthrowing President Obama in the United States, or like the Kiss Army overthrowing the rock band Kiss.
Yes, imagine the Kiss Army just getting fed up with the squabbles between all
the members of the band Kiss, and just warning them to get a tour together and
stop arguing or else, and the band members just digging their heels in, and
then the Kiss Army, all dressed up in homemade Kiss costumes and makeup,
invades the Kiss tour bus, kicks them off, and institutes a Kiss cover band in
their place. In fact, unbeknownst to these news analysts, the Kiss Army coup
had already taken place earlier today.
"I know everybody's hot, everybody's got rock'n'roll
pneumonia, so let's call out Dr. Love", said an unidentified man with a star on
his face directly after the Kiss Army coup. The fact that they were all wearing
makeup made it impossible to arrest anyone, or indeed even to tell what the
hell was going on whatsoever, or who had won the day, claimed local Los
Angeles, California, police. And seeing this result, where the outcome could be
declared to be whatever anyone with access to a news camera wanted it to be,
Egyptian Morsi officials, Egyptian protesters, and the Egyptian military all decided to put on Kiss makeup and
throw together Kiss costumes from various album periods (even the makeupless period
with Vinnie Vincent is showing up here and there, with hot pink Jackson Randy
Rhodes models being used as weapons!). That way, any and all of the parties could
claim victory in the coup attempt, and in fact, all of them are.
Please tune in later on for the post coup Kiss concert,
after which we hope we'll get to see who's behind that makeup. (In fact, if my
hope is confirmed, the band Kiss will have escaped the coup attempt here
in Los Angeles and taken their private jet to Egypt, where they are now ruling that
country with a glittered fist!)
