Explodey the Firework: The Animated Children's Holiday Special!
Explodey the Firework would be to the 4th of July kind of like what Frosty the Snowman is to Christmas: an extremely tenuous, tortured metaphor for the holiday spirit that avoids all of the tough questions and difficult issues the holiday represents, making it so we can dodge the actual meaning of the holiday completely and just focus on the manner of celebration!
So here's how Explodey the Firework would work as a super patriotic American hero story:
Explodey the Firework is a firework made for celebrating Independence Day on July 4th, but all kinds of people want to stop him from being able to be there to celebrate it. First, kids chase Explodey all over the place with matches, lighters and flamethrowers because they want to watch him go off in a selfish act of delinquency; next, parental groups and schools try to arrest and detain Explodey because of the risk he poses to kids getting their fingers and hands blown off; then, environmentalists want to get rid of Explodey because of his potential for pollution; then a group of terrorists (disguised in Founding Fathers costumes to try to trick Explodey) want to kidnap poor Explodey to prevent America from celebrating her freedom (as well as wanting to use his explosive powder to make homemade bombs for their attempted upcoming terrorist attacks); and then finally, villains in the government want to make Explodey illegal so as not to remind people of what principles this nation was founded on: limited government and personal freedom. And so Explodey has to escape all of these groups who are trying to keep him from being at the big fireworks extravaganza on the 4th of July, but thanks to some help from Uncle Sam and the Spirit of America (represented by an American Eagle), Explodey manages to avoid all of these potential disasters and make it to the big fireworks show in Washington, D.C., where he is enjoyed by all. But, after he goes off, terrorists claim Explodey perpetrated a suicide bombing against the American capital, and with only poor Explodey's exploded shell left, it's impossible to refute this claim, until Lady Liberty brings Explodey back to life and he tells the world that it was in celebration, not malice, that he expended his brilliance. And everyone lives happily ever after, except for terrorists, who get blown up by Explodey's bigger cousins: Hellfire missiles. (Plus, the NSA could be heroes in this show too, saving Explodey and America from terrorists, teaching kids that it's safer getting spied on than getting blown up, I guess.)
