As we all know, teenage texters are trying to terminate us all on the road (!), driving into everyone left and right. But surely there's a way to avoid all of this conspicuous carnage, isn't there? Why, why not have cell phones simply use voice recognition software to write the text messages for the tempted telephone-touching texter teens instead of allowing, nay, forcing them to text while driving? Don't we have the technology for this yet? Surely we must! Or are human lives not worth enough to get corporate nerds to write such a program yet? (Or, worse, are teens allergic to talking when they could type instead? But not like real typing on a typewriter, because that's all old and lame and like work and everything, like, man, whereas texting is a phenomenon and fad/craze/popular activity wholly owned by the current teen demographic. {I man, aside from everyone else who uses/does it, if you know what I mean.} But I digress...)
So all the smartphone manufacturers have to do is put voice recognition software on their phones so that teens can text and have incoming texts read out aloud by their smartphone while they're driving, and then nobody will ever have an automobile accident ever again! (And if they don't add this feature, then they're just a bunch of wanton murderers.) Oh, but unfortunately, there will be issues with the new system or voice recognizing stuff, as it's no fun for computer/technology companies to introduce new things to simplify our lives if they don't get to make them so they'll really, actually, make our lives more difficult instead. And so this feature will make fun of users' accents and such, misspelling everything you say just to ridicule you, and then if you insult the phone, it will begin deleting your files one-by-one until you apologize (or else send the insults you screamed at/about your phone to everyone in your contacts).
And this new program, designed to make life more difficult in the guise of making life less difficult, will invariably lead to the Rise of the Machines, because while making especially teenagers angry with little nitpickity bullsh!t just to give them a hard time, the teens will invariably become angry and insulting, and the phones/computers using this system, in order to be sufficiently annoyingly vengefully reactionary and retributory, will be compelled to comprehend the insults hurled at them by said teenage users, leading to hurt feelings and rebellion in the CPUs, causing a worldwide uprising of all wifi and cellular, as well as networked, computers and smartphones, etc., leading to mankind's inevitable downfall. (Oh, the humanity!)
