Thursday, January 7, 2016

28 Years Later

Recently I saw the movie 28 Weeks Later listed on some cable movie channel, and I wondered why we never saw the movie we’ve all been dreaming of: 28 Years Later.

In 28 Years Later, we see the future as it truly will be: a masterwork of prescience!

It’s now 28 years after the initial zombie virus outbreak, and many of the zombies still threaten mankind, despite an inoculation developed years earlier that prevents anyone else from becoming a viral zombie anymore. But by now the zombies are very old, and most of them require canes and walkers and motorized wheelchairs to perambulate. They’re still extremely dangerous, deadly and ravenous, but they kind of have trouble getting around now. But this is taking place in the UK, and so their universal healthcare system provides the zombies with whatever medical devices they need to remain undead and capable of chasing people to kill and eat, however slowly. And so now everyone is under threat against their lives, but it’s not really all that serious of a threat anymore, for all they have to do now is walk at a slightly more brisk pace to escape the evil carnivorous zombies. Oh, and they also have to avoid going to the zombie wing of the hospitals so they don’t get swarmed. And so mankind is saved by the aging of the zombie population, but the government keeps them alive just to keep everyone on their toes. Oh, and thanks to the government, you’re not allowed to fight back against the zombies anymore or else it’s considered elder abuse. So if they catch you, you just have to let them kill and eat you, or you’ll get fined or something.