After President Obama revealed his gun control plan yesterday, Ted Cruz, not to be outdone, proposed giving guns to fetuses to defend themselves against abortionists. “President Obama wants us defenseless, even our unborn children. But while he restricts guns for the post-birth population, I will give guns to the pre-born, ensuring their right to life, even if they have to kill to ensure it,” he said at a campaign rally.
It is not immediately clear how Senator Cruz intends to implement his plan. Will the guns be surgically implanted, or will he use cutting-edge gene-splicing technology to fuse human DNA with gun DNA? We’re not sure how he will do it; all we know is that it will work, for America.
(Hey, that would make a good movie! Son of a Gun: Created to ensure gun rights, his human DNA was fused with gun DNA by the NRA’s secret mad scientist division so that his guns can never be taken by the government! Because, you see, he is a gun! Half man, half gun, it’s Son of a Gun: coming soon to a theater near you!)
