Saturday, May 9, 2015

Decision Market

Don’t know what to cook for dinner tonight, tomorrow, or all this week? Let the market decide! Come on down to Decision Market and let us do the thinking and deciding for you! Think of all the stress you’ll shed and all the time and effort you’ll save to focus on other more important aspects of your life when you let the market decide for you.

And once you get used to the market deciding for you, and you see how free it lets your mind become from the drudgery of constant decision-making, you’ll want the market to decide everything for you from then on! That’s when you can come and take advantage of Decision Market’s life planning services: simply come in with your personal history, and our qualified staff with tell you what to do with every aspect of your life: who to marry, what career path to follow, how many kids to have, where to send them to school, who to vote for, etc. Life becomes as easy as a breeze when someone else does the deciding for you!

So come on down the Decision Market and Let the Market Decide™!

(I keep hearing Republicans say: “Let the market decide,” so I thought maybe a grocery store that decided for you what to buy and cook would be a big success with Republican customers. If letting the market decide is so great, they should prove it by shopping there.)