I have seen the Jurassic Park movies. It turns out that it’s a bad idea to bring dinosaurs back. These movies are so convincing in not only this message, but also the legal ramifications of it, it’s hard to imagine why anyone would reopen the park after the third movie. Surely the current one will do the same stuff plot- and message-wise (the ads seem like this will be the case), but it will likely make so much money that they’ll make another sequel anyway. And if they do, I believe I have the perfect plot device.
So it’s after the disastrous events of Jurassic World, and news spreads that dinosaurs have eaten everyone in sight, yadda, yadda. Oh, but one conservative Christian billionaire isn’t convinced. Yes, these dinosaurs were altered genetically, so they weren’t like the originals. You see, in the Bible it says that the dinosaurs didn’t eat meat (I am not joking, this is what Bible purists say.), and so he puts his vast financial resources to work to bring back true dinosaurs, unaltered genetically, to show how they only ate plants and were friendly to humans.
But, of course, when the dinosaurs meet humans, they gobble them all up and yearn for more, traveling vast distances over land and sea to masticate more of mankind. And our billionaire says how could he have known that giant beasts with enormous sharp teeth and claws would eat meat, and everyone forgives him to try again for the sequel.
This would have the Christian-bashing stuff Hollywood loves, and it would have dinosaurs and tons of gore: how could it miss?
