Saturday, June 28, 2014

Fútbol del Caníbal: The Horror Movie

In this horrific cannibal gore film, a soccer game is being played in the World Cup when one player bites another one, actually biting a large chunk out of the other player's arm, causing much blood to spill. Well, the offending player decides he likes the taste of his opponent's flesh, and so he chews it up and eats it, whereupon players for the opposing team attack the biter, biting at him furiously and actually literally eating him alive. Well, then the eaten player's teammates attack his eaters, and they all attack and bite each other furiously, eating whatever they can bite off. Blood flows freely, and when the referee tries to stop the melee, he too is bitten and devoured. Well, this sets off the crowd, and supporters of both sides attack each other with reckless abandon, biting, chewing, gnawing in a blind rage. And pretty soon, everyone is so covered with blood and gore, nobody can even tell who is a fan of which team anymore, whereupon everybody masticates and swallows each other in a random feast of indiscriminate slaughter. And, naturally, some fans escape the stadium, not to flee the carnage, but to spread it further in a virulent spontaneous paroxysm of mass cannibalistic consumption. (Starring Luis Suarez, in his acting debut.)