Someone wrote an article complaining about hearing the Rolling Stones' hit: "Under My Thumb" playing on the Muzak-type service pumping music through tiny tinny speakers as she shopped for groceries in NYC recently. Now, that got me to thinking: since so many people like to be offended nowadays, and so many hit songs sing about women in an objectifying manner, should stores now record cover versions of these songs, but with new, feminist lyrics, so that classic music fans can hear the music, but so no-one will be offended by the lyrical content? (<Aside from them not being the original lyrics, that is.)
Here's an example, to the tune of "Cherry Pie", by Warrant (the most sexist song I could think of off-hand):
She's my Ph.D.,
Her intelligence makes me so happy,
She blows my mind with her thought capacity,
Smart Ph.D.!
(And, naturally, the music video of this song would have women in white lab coats making miniaturized men run through mazes and such like lab rats.)
Would this make the author of the article I referenced happy? Because I'm pretty good at re-lyricking songs. Maybe it's a goldmine growth industry!
BTW: This is "Cherry Pie", by Warrant:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjyZKfdwlng
Of course, they could make the lyrics to all the songs be about the food they sell instead. And so, "Under My Thumb" could become "Succulent Plumbs", like so (to the tune of "Under My Thumb", by the Rolling Stones):
Succulent Plumbs,
The fruit that we sell in our third aisle,
They're succulent plumbs,
Their smooth sweet taste will make you all smile,
They're so yummy!
Instead of talk you could just bite down on a plumb and wowee!
The taste is yum, they're succulent plumbs!
(Sorry, it's the first food I could think of that rhymes with "thumb".)
