Sunday, June 22, 2014

Terror Trees (The "Green" Horror Movie)

We think we're the masters of the Earth, but the real masters have been slumbering. Yes, I mean the trees! And when they wake up, they're going to want to build their homes and furniture out of us!

There's no escape, because there are trees everywhere! And they're only rooted to the ground when they're hibernating*, and now they're awake! And their roots act like tentacles.

All your worst fears about Cthulu are trulu! The trees are monsters, and they're coming to get you! (To tear you limb-from-limb!)

You can try to hide, try to claim you never harmed a tree, but everywhere you turn, there's wood...! And they know where that came from: their friends we chopped down for wood!

Yes, it's the only truly "green", eco-horror movie out this year; it's: Terror Trees, coming soon to a theater near you!

(Yes, folks: the trees are "The Old Ones" from H. P. Lovecraft's old stories.)

* The trees only hibernate for 100,000 of every 1,000,000 years, so we're totally screwed.