A man with a mustache tries to chat up an attractive woman
at a party, but she’s turned off by his graying mustache, saying: “What’s the
thing on your face, an albino rat?” (In many men, facial hair turns gray long
before the hair on their head, if indeed they have any hair left on their heads
by then.) So the sports announcer guys they use in the Just for Men ads say:
“Oh, that’s gotta hurt!” and: “She just put the hurt on his mustache!” Then a voiceover guy breaks in, saying: “There’s
no reason your mustache must ache.” (As he says this, we see the word ‘mustache’
appear on the screen and then separate into two words: ‘must’ and ‘ache’.) “Use
Just for Men Mustache and Beard: It will help ease the pain of aging.” Then we
cut back to the party, or we see them at a future party (like these ads always
do), and the woman approaches our heroic elder datesman, and she reaches out to
touch his mustache, which turns into stroking his cheek once, and she says:
“You look years younger than the last time I saw you. Want to get out of here?”
Then the sports announcers say: “He’s going all the way…!” and: “…And he
scores!”
(I love the realism in these Just for Men ads. It’s been my
experience in real life that women simply cannot resist a dyed mustache or
beard. In fact, fake mustache and/or beard color is the #1 turn on for women, a
recent survey finds. All those surveyed work for Just for Men, coincidentally.)
