I was reminded recently of Larry Craig’s little airport
bathroom romp from a few years ago, and of his doth protest too much response,
which was to say he has “never been gay.” Well, that made me think of Ben Gay,
the product that helps with sore muscles. So I thought perhaps Larry Craig
could market a product, a lotion for, um, release of, um, a specific kind of
muscle tension from not being gay (when looking at, let’s say a website for
people who are definitely not gay and never have been gay, but still like
looking at naked man anyway), and call it: “Larry Craig’s Never Ben Gay”. It
helps ease the tension of holding back your true self.
