Friday, July 25, 2014

Phyllis Stine (New TV Sitcom?)

I keep hearing gauche people and jerks and bullies referred to as “Philistines”. Well, the name Phyllis Stine sounds just like Philistine, so how about a (joke) TV show character called Phyllis Stine who is a totally gauche jerk and busybody who insinuates herself into everyone’s lives and makes everyone miserable? Then, whenever anyone saw her coming, they’d warn everyone else by saying: “Look out: the Philistines are at the gates!”

And the plot of every episode of the show would be that there would be some party or social gathering, and then Phyllis would show up and frustrate and annoy everyone with her insulting of everything cultural they appreciate, such as theater, art, wine, ballet, etc., and general overall unconsciously but overtly rude, gauche, uncouth, uncultured behavior.

And for this show, Phyllis Stine, there would be a theme song that sang (similarly to the tune of the Apple Jacks advertising jingle, just to give you an idea of how it might sound):

Phyllis Stine, Phyllis Stine,
She’s so gauche she’ll blow your mind,
She doesn’t know art, nor knows she wine,
She’s a Philistine!

Phyllis Stine, Phyllis Stine,
Exposure to her will make you whine,
She’s always rude, she breaks in line,
She’s a Philistine!