Sunday, November 6, 2016

The Bright Side of the Election Outcome

A lot of people are worried and spazzing about what will happen to our country during the next administration given the, um, quality of our candidates.

But it’s not all bad news. Look on the bright side! Whichever candidate wins the presidency on Tuesday, they will have the effect of:

Making America’s greatest catastrophes seem not so bad after all

Making Gerald Ford seem graceful and coördinated

Making Jimmy Carter seem effective

Making George W. Bush seem brilliant

Making Barack Obama seem like a uniter

Making Joe Biden seem like he doesn’t just blurt out silly things all the time

Making Sarah Palin seem hinged

Making Armageddon seem attractive

See? When you look at it like this, it’s possible to see a silver lining of sorts.