Gold Bond Itch Bitch Ad (Joke/Proposed)

The super villain Itch Bitch (she also could be called the Itch Witch for TV) creates a powerful itch ray that can make every man, woman and child on the continent itch so much they can’t stand it, so super spy Gold Bond (a James Bond-style secret agent who is covered in shiny gold, sort of like Shirley Eaton was in Goldfinger, only Gold Bond looks like that all the time) is called on to counter the threat. And Gold Bond has just the thing to defeat Itch Bitch’s evil plan: Gold Bond Medicated Cream and Gold Bond Medicated Powder! So Gold Bond uses his Gold Bond products (used like James Bond gadgets from Bond films) to deactivate and destroy the itch ray, foiling Itch Bitch’s dastardly scheme. Plus, using Gold Bond products completely neutralizes the effects of the itch ray, so the world is safe for itch-free comfort once again, protected from the threat if anyone else ever tries to resurrect the inhuman international itch ray plot.