They say we’re running out of oil and we need to develop alternate kinds of fuel, but don’t we have the technology to make more? Why don’t we just clone some dinosaurs like they did in Jurassic Park and then smush them up in car crunchers and stuff to make oil. That’s all it is: smushed up dinosaurs, right?
Musical Instrument Store Name:
A store specializing in musical instruments for beginners should be called: “Instruments of Torture”. Ask any parent with a young child just learning how to play, and they’ll tell you.
The Oscars:
This was reportedly one of the worst Oscars (according to the critics), where the comedy fell flat, etc. This is because comedy is not allowed to work on the Oscars until there is an Oscar for Best Comedy Movie, Best Comedy Writing, Best Comedy Performance. If you have no awards for comedy, you shouldn’t be allowed to have comedy in your awards show. And as we’ve seen, there isn’t much of any.
The Antichrist:
I was watching Roger Federer beat someone in straight sets a little while ago, and his set scores of 6, 6, 6 made me realize that the Antichrist will rise from the world of tennis! When tennis champions start running for President, watch out!
Robots:
How come nobody’s making big robots with sharp teeth and machine guns that say stuff like “Destroy all humans!”? All the robots that are being made are all cutesy and stuff like ASIMO, Robosapien, and the Roomba. I guess that’s so they won’t seem threatening. But when they take over, it’s going to be really embarrassing if they’re all just cutesy little things. We need to consider that.
So Bots:
So Bots are these cute little robot dogs that can recognize people’s faces and stuff. They’re kind of like Rex in Woody Allen’s movie, Sleeper, except that they can recognize anyone from a distance if they’ve had their photo and voice fed into them. I think they should use them for assassinations and stuff. Nobody would ever suspect a cute little robot dog until it was too late…
Superman:
I know that everyone looks different in glasses, but couldn’t everyone tell that Clark Kent was Superman with that big cape all bunched up in his underwear?
MS Word:
I hate how Microsoft Word automatically changes words it thinks are spelled wrong and stuff! Most of the time it just ruins what I’m writing and I have to retype it over and over again until it stops meddling with my writing. My sister said you can turn that feature off, but then I wouldn’t be able to complain about it!
