Well, guess what? You’ll never guess! It’s so funny, and you’d never have expected it, but you know what? The air strikes we made into Libya: you know, the ones where we basically started a third quagmire war in a Muslim country? Well, it’s a funny thing about that, because, you see, apparently the rebel army still can’t seem to defeat Khadafi’s forces even after NATO (read: the United States) removed the most significant advantages Khadafi’s guys had (like air power, columns of tanks, etc.). I mean, who would have thought that there was more to defeating an army of experienced and well-equipped mercenaries than just posing for the TV cameras and shooting all of your ammunition into the air? Oh, whoops; did I say that they shot all of their ammunition into the air before they went to go fight Khadafi’s army? Actually, apparently a lot of them did, so they had nothing left to actually fight with. And then they used that as an excuse for why they need us to arm them now. Boy, we sure can pick ‘em, huh?
Well, there’s a couple of things here on top of this bit of unintentional comedy. Okay, for starters, we (the United States) have already spent billions of dollars trying to help these bozos fighting Khadafi. The government has estimated something along the lines of $500 million, but I’ve taken to simply assuming that they are lying in recent decades, so I figure it’s got to be in the billions by now, and only due to escalate sharply as the mythic band of rebels continues to not defeat Khadafi. Now these heroic rebels valiantly claim that NATO is not doing enough to defeat Khadafi for them; um, I mean, to help them beat Khadafi’s regime. And they’re starting to sound impatient, like we owe them or something: Awesome.
Before I get to the next issue, I would first like to point out that although this may be happening pretty close to where some of the movie Star Wars was filmed on location, this is not actually Star Wars. And this brings me to my next point: it has been reported that the rebels we are supporting contain Islamist militants, including elements of Al Qaida, and that they would probably be busy fighting us if they weren’t busy doing something else right now. Like I said, this isn’t Star Wars: the rebels aren’t a competent and noble band of benevolent freedom-fighters harnessing the divine powers of the force, even if Khadafi is kind of like Darth Vader. These guys are the same guys that used to burn American flags, and the only reason they’re not doing it right now is that they need our help, and they expect us to do all of the fighting for them. So when our own government starts to call for us to arm and train them with advanced American weapons and fund them with American money, oh by all means, let’s do so!
Before I get to the next issue, I would first like to point out that although this may be happening pretty close to where some of the movie Star Wars was filmed on location, this is not actually Star Wars. And this brings me to my next point: it has been reported that the rebels we are supporting contain Islamist militants, including elements of Al Qaida, and that they would probably be busy fighting us if they weren’t busy doing something else right now. Like I said, this isn’t Star Wars: the rebels aren’t a competent and noble band of benevolent freedom-fighters harnessing the divine powers of the force, even if Khadafi is kind of like Darth Vader. These guys are the same guys that used to burn American flags, and the only reason they’re not doing it right now is that they need our help, and they expect us to do all of the fighting for them. So when our own government starts to call for us to arm and train them with advanced American weapons and fund them with American money, oh by all means, let’s do so!
But, you know what? I think I have thought of a plan that will save us a lot of time and trouble! Rather than to arm, fund and train the rebels in Libya (because you know they’d just turn around and use our own weapons against us once we finally win their war for them!), what we should do instead is this: let’s get together a few hundred billion dollars, or whatever we’d be spending on this war, and let’s just put it into a big pile of cash and burn it. Then let’s just shoot all the weapons we were going to give them at ourselves! You see what I’m proposing here? Just cut out the middle-man! Think of how much money and time we’ll save in the long run! And it’s a whole lot simpler. See, if we launch the weapons at ourselves, maybe the Islamists will see that and decide that we’re just too crazy and stupid to bother with fighting against anymore. And wouldn’t it be nice to see a stupid and crazy policy get us out of a war for a change?
